Thursday, December 31, 2009


My apologies to any and all followers, I've been remiss in keeping this up of late. It won't happen again. This blog is about how great it is to be married to a Transsexual, and I can only say that nothing tops that being the case in my book. Angela has been my staunchest supporter through the bumps cancer has caused, and my inward focus this last month plus, has only proved, again, what a dear she is. She always knows what to say, and when to say it, especially when there is a need for something funny. Last night, we took our daughter to dinner, and while getting ready I got frustrated at putting on makeup because most of my bottom eyelashes are now gone. She simply said, "That's not why I married you, and it's not why everyone loves you, so stop worrying." It was a simple statement, but it took me out of myself and put the focus back where it belonged - on our daughter and her night out without kids." She's there with something cold when I have a hot flash, or with a crayon when I'm bitching about drawing on my thinning eyebrows. She's there with a hug when I need one, or even when I don't. She's not insulted when I suddenly stop snuggling and throw off all the covers, or change clothes three times, or whatever. Remember, now, Ts are "into" make-up and looking good. Even so, she always makes me feel like I look like a star. Hmmmm, maybe if I start wearing sunglasses, no one will notice the missing eyelashes.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Two Billiard Balls

Angela shaved my head this morning. I decided that since we own Bichons because they don't shed, it is pretty silly for me to be dropping hair all over the place (not to mention blocking the shower and sink drains!). It does look a bit strange, but other than that, I'm perfectly happy with my decision. As always, the every-talented Angela accomplished the task quickly. She shaves her own head also, but then, she's had a lot more practice. We'll be two billiard balls when we go to bed without our wigs. Yes, I have my new wig already, so I won't scare anyone to death when I go out in public. This is quite a change for us: Angela, as David, was bald; now it's my turn. She wears her wig all day, but I doubt I will. Time will tell. I don't have to look at my head, where everyone else does. Even the dogs didn't give me any funny looks, so I guess they accept this as just another of "mom's harebrained schemes." Angela has a great sense of humor, on top of her head shaving skills, so I guess that means I now have two Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual to report today. I'm not even counting the fact that she is starting her next project - laying a new floor down the hall. The old carpet is out, and the new hardwood will be installed over the next few days. She's a marvel!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Taking up the slack

I’ve learned more than I care to say about cancer, but the most surprising thing is that it completely takes over your life. Every weekday has at least one appointment for something –doctors, labs, scans, physical therapy and etc. Each week is regulated by where you are in the chemo cycle. Week one, you can do pretty much as you please. Week two: stay away from anyone with a cold because white cells are diminishing by the minute. Week three: by midweek, one regains their freedom as white cells regenerate. Of course, then it is time to do chemo again, and the cycle repeats. This weekend is officially “stay indoors, don’t go anywhere” per my doctor. So, I’m missing a mall play-date with the grandkids, a day of babysitting, an opening of a friend’s art gallery, a play we planned to see, and a Christmas shopping trip scheduled for tomorrow. Dast, oh dear! Dang! So, guess who is taking up the slack – all by herself – Angela of course! We usually do “kid things” together. Sometimes we both are “on duty,” and sometimes one of us leaves to work on a project, go shopping or meet friends for lunch. We relieve each other for breaks, but one of us is always with the kids. Today, it will be an all day affair for her, although our daughter will be there for the play-date and from time to time throughout the day. Angela is an excellent babysitter; she plays with Brooke like a big sister, and she is a champion at changing diapers and walking babies (yes, she was excellent at both as a father too). So, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual: a few hormones add a touch of tenderness and patience that all of us enjoy!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Veteran's Day

Our flag flies at half-staff for those who died at an American Army Base recently, for all those who have died in our two current wars, and for those that have died in all of our wars. It flies at half-staff for those who have died peaceful deaths years after their valiant service to our country, of which my father was one. It flies at half-staff for those who came home from the horrific Vietnam War only to be vilified by fellow Americans. It flies at half-staff for our gay, lesbian, transgender, bi-sexual and intersexed brothers and sisters-in-arm who have died or who are now serving honorably under the deplorable don’t ask, don’t tell directive. It flies at half-staff those same GLBT+ people who have left the service because they spoke out against don’t ask, don’t tell, or who self-identified and were dismissed as if they had no value. It flies at half-staff for all those who have been injured in our wars, and it flies at half-staff for all the family members of those who have served and who currently serve in our armed forces. I am proud of them all, and I’m proud to stand among them. Angela and my father served as career officers in the USAF, both survived their war, and I am very proud of them.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Having Fun

It’s the small things that make marriages work sometimes. Sunday was the first day after my chemo that I actually got outside to “play” with Angela. She makes work fun, even when its hard work. She was chopping off limbs and I was picking them up. That’s not a typical scenario for fun I know, but working with Angela is almost always a happy occasion for us. We did a little fencing with branches. We piled the stack higher and higher like a balancing game before we knew we’d gone too far. I held the gate open and closed like a bullfighter’s cape as she charge through it. Next we attacked the garden, finding end-of-season produce like they were Easter eggs. In the case of the tomatoes, it really was a hunt. The fall/winter veggies are doing fine, so they were easy, but that last eggplant was also a bit of a challenge. See, you can have fun while getting work done, especially if you have a T in the family! So, yep, having fun while working together is another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

One Chemo Down

I had my first round of chemo therapy yesterday with no bad effects. All is going well. My appetite is good, I slept well, and while I expect to have some down days in the next few days, I was pleasantly surprised to be feeling fine after this first round.

Angela, of course, has been the chief driver and nurse through all of this, and she's wonderful about it.

Today we were outside a fair amount of time as it was a beautiful day. I harvested produce from the garden - kale (my favorite veggie), green onioins (yum!), cherry tomatoes, radishes, and chives for baked potatoes tomorrow night with the kids. I'll be fixing my last eggplant tonight, and I have a load of beets for veggies through next weeks too. I helped pick up branches after she cut off those that were hanging too low to use the riding lawn mower. That was the first real exercise since my surgery. About all Nurse Nora (Angela) will let me do is the laundry and empty the dishwasher, so helping load up the trailer felt pretty good. She hauled them over to our big dumpster, so I really didn't do much. I don't think it was even enough to be sore in a couple days. after all that activity, Cassandra, my smallest Bichon, and I took a nap together on the patio glider.

It was a fine day.

Happy Halloween to all!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Race for the Cure

After a really terrible experience at Community Hospital's Cath Lab while getting my port put in for my Chemotherapy, I'm happy to report that the next Cancer-related item on my list was a great success. The Susan B. Kommen Race for the Cure was today, and four of us retired Fresno Bee (newspaper) gals joined seven other mutual friends for the one mile walk portion. The team captain recently found out she is pregnant, Donna had her cancer surgery two weeks ago, and I had my port put in two days ago, so we didn't think we should overdo it. The others agreed, and all did the one-mile walk. There were more than 6,000 people who participated in the Race for a Cure, most of which did the actual RACE part. It started at 6:30 a.m. The winner did the 5 miles with a 4.68-minute mile, which was pretty darn good! There were also shorter races, I believe. At any rate, I arrived at 9 in time for the awards. The rest of the group joined me in time to honor the survivors, of which Donna and I were included. There were probably 2,000 women who walked across the stage and took their seats in a show of solidarity that was very moving. We then moved on to the walk, which was easy and quickly done. Paula took a fall and scraped up her arm, but she's fine. Yes, we got it tended to at their first aid station. Angela was signed up to go, and donated her $20, but stayed home to do the lawn. We have to take one of our dogs up to Davis to see the super doctors up there, so she felt the lawn had to come first. Of course, she was super solicitous in helping me get ready and doubly so when I came home. She was concerned I might be overtired. Hardly! But she insisted I take a nap, which I gladly did. She's the responsible one, and it's a good thing, as I ended up sleeping for two hours. Evidently, I was more tired than I thought. Her point: "it has only been two days since your port surgery." I'm glad I have my own private nurse, and that's another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual!

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Boy, there is just no way to feeling settled with Cancer. The bottom line is that Angela is about the only thing that's normal around here! She's my rock, my primary supporter, and cheerleader. How many Best Things About Married to a Transsexual can I list? Loads (!) - especially since the diagnosis. Having cancer is having one doctor appointment after another with scans and lab tests in between - and I haven't even started the Chemo or Radiation yet. The surgery went great and poor Angela is doing double duty on everything - yard work, housecleaning, and all sorts of just general helpful things. She's a blessing in so many ways. There are so many things one needs to learn, and there are only a few days to absorb it all and make critical decisions. I was expecting radiation after surgery, but not chemo. Now, chemo is in the mix and starting "soon." I had one bad lymph node, and some "suspicious cells" in two more, so we're fast approaching the Port or No Port decision. I was all for just following my doc's advice, and going with whatever she suggested, but after some research, I'm struggling with info overload. I've got a call into her to discuss not having the port done, and asking about at least one of drugs I'm supposed to take. None of the chemotherapy drugs are "nice," to put it mildly. They all have terrible side effects and long-term after effects. So, hang in there with me. I promise to keep after this blog. I just want to say how much I love having Angela around to share my thoughts, worries, and all the joy she brings me.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Whew! I'm glad that's over!

Surgery's over, and I'm doing fine. Now it's on to the next phase: finding out the results. I'm not good about waiting, but I'm stuck doing so for now. It'll be Wednesday or Thursday before the docs will be able to tell me the results of the lymph tests. Of course, the treatment plan depends on the outcome, so everything is back in limbo for a short while. I liked it a lot better when things were more concrete: "this is what we are going to do." Oh well. The good news is I'm feeling fine and improving each day. Angela, better known as my nurse, is on top of everything. She's doing laundry and draining my drains, she's tending the lawn and dusting the furniture, and she's reaching down everything I need that's above my head and picking up everything I want that weighs more than two pounds. She's a joy and a godsend all rolled in to my own very special T! What more could I ask?! I've got the best of all possible worlds. She's always there when I need her, and all those things are just more of the Best Things About Being Married to a T!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Na Nana Na Na!

Angela falls off ladders. That's a given around here. She's broken her wrist twice; once from an indoor fall, and once from an outdoor fall. She's had several other falls that, fortunately, only resulted in various scrapes and bruises. It's to the point that there is now a "rule" about not getting on a ladder without someone being nearby (to at least call an ambulance, or laugh, which ever is the most appropropriate!). This last fall happened two weeks ago, and it wasn't a terrible fall; it was another of those scrapes and bruises variety. However, it's still causing her problems - her knee and foot continue to swell. Both are okay, sore, but not seriously so, in the morning, but, by nightfall, both are swollen. So, today we went to see the doctor. He promptly asked, "Did you put ice on it? (No) Did you raise it for a few hours? (No) Did you take it easy for the rest of the day?" (No) Of course, all of those things were the very same instructions I gave her after her accident: ala this-is-what-you-should-do. Naturally, she ignored me and went on about her work. Over the next few days, the scratches healed, but the soreness remained. I wasn't very sympathetic, since she didn't take my advice. I went with her to the doctor today, just so I could say, "Na Nana Na Na!" in the hopes that next time she'll listen, and do as told - including not being on a ladder without someone being around! You see, hormones don't change Everything! But, the fact she took it in good humor, makes that One of the Best Things About Being Married to a T!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Things Are Getting More Real Every Day Now.

I have a surgery date now, Sept. 29. Having it makes the whole thing seem more "real" now. Angela is certainly a grounding force. Initially, she was worried, but as we have moved through the process, she is relaxing a bit. She's the best nurse possible when I'm sick, so I know she'll be great as I recover and go through the radiation treatments. Right now, though, she is the organizer. Each bit of paperwork that must be attended to is in its place; medical office cards are in their particular spot too, and now that my "official cancer documents" booklet/file has arrived, she's going through along with me. I never realized how many appointments, insurance papers, and whatnot had to be done before the whole process actually begins. It certainly isn't like any other surgery I've ever had. Of course, the stakes are higher. She's a dear, and I love her to death.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Caught by an advertiser

We fell for the legendary John Deere myth that their lawn tractors are better than all the others. It cost us $2,000 more to buy a JD rather than the Sears version we were considering. Now that we have it, the JD is just not measuring up. The fabric grass-catchers get the machine and me filthy, are difficult to lift off their frames because I'm too short to get enough purchase on the darn things, and they're hard to empty when full.

Today, it stopped mowing when I ran over a gopher hole! This is a lawn tractor, folks, have you ever heard of such a thing? The machinery couldn't handle the loose dirt, I guess!

Thank goodness Angela has the "Miss Fix-it" gene, because taking this thing apart was no picnic. (Our old Sears version had much easier access to problem areas.) However, she had me up and running again after about 45 minutes. That gene is a Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual!

Friday, September 4, 2009

There's good news in Mudville (aka Fresno) today, Angela's longest nail survived! I'm sure you have already guessed what happened. Yes, she fell off a ladder - AGAIN!

No, I didn't know she was using a ladder, so I was not outside with her. (She has orders not to climb a ladder without supervision, which has worked up until today - DAMN!) Yes, she looks like she's been through a war zone, but the damage appears to be more-or-less superficial - scratches, bruises, and minor cuts. There will be some swelling no doubt, and no, she didn't put any ice on it - recalcitrant four-year-old that she is. (Hormones don't change everything!) Nothing's broken THIS time - what a welcome change that is. At least we are not spending the remainder of the day at an emergency room. My next stop is going to be at a local Home Depot to get several chains and locks. They'll be attached to our three ladders, and the key will be hidden.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Breakfast at 6:30

One of the blessings Angela offers is doing breakfast each morning when Brooke is staying overnight. I'm not a morning person AT ALL! So, she gets up with our granddaughter and fixes her a nice breakfast. Of course, Angela is a morning person, but not always quite as early a morning person as Brooke is. They have a wonderful time just the two of them, while I continue my snoozes. Of course, I get up in the middle of the night, so it evens out, I suppose. However, doing early morning breakfasts is one of the Best Things About Being Married to a T for me.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

It's good to have a T

So, I have breast cancer. This is not fun to find out, but having a T around makes it easier. First of all, she's the take-charge-of -things person. She does all the worrying so I don't have to. In fact, she is spending a great deal of time worrying about the fact that I am NOT worrying. I am not worried, you see, because I found it on a Wednesday, saw my doc on Friday, had a mammogram and ultrasound on Wednesday, and got the bad news on Friday. The next Friday, I met with my surgeon, oncologists (2-one for chemo and one for radiation), a geneticist, a social worker, and a great nurse who keeps them all in line. I have all my pre-op appointments being scheduled, and I have an "initial" plan, which could change after all the tests are done. I know what to expect, and I know who to contact for each step of the way. That's pretty fast, and I'm sure my medical team have my best interests at heart. (Yes, I'm checking up on stuff on the Internet and with friends and family that have gone through this before). Angela is going along on all my appointments and being my note taker. She's also making certain that everything gets on the calendar, and she's keeping everything in a neat little stack until the official cancer center folder arrives with all it's neat filing system already worked out. In short, my T is my rock, and I appreciate that - A LOT!!!! You see, I always wanted a wife, and now I have one! So, what do I have to worry about?

Thursday, August 13, 2009


Let me begin by saying that I firmly believe that being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender is NOT a choice. When we speak to groups there frequently is someone who claims that being GLBT+ is a Choice. I believe that I am perhaps one of a very few people who have CHOSEN the GLBT+ lifestyle. I say that I have chosen it, not because I was born GLBT+, but because my spouse was. Angela had no choice about being transgendered. She was born to be a female, but her exterior body did not match her feminine brain. I was born a woman who fell in love with a man and married him, 43 years ago. I chose to stay with him when he was able to transition, because he was the person I loved. I embrace that change wholeheartedly, and I continue to support that change. Angela is finally able to BE who she always HAD to be. I am very happy that I chose to stay married to her, that I welcome the GLBT+ lifestyle, and that I am proud to be deemed a Lesbian. To do otherwise would be anathema. I am welcome in this lifestyle and am more than happy with my choice. There is no question that I am as attracted to Angela as I was to David, so why should I deny that? While I didn’t expect to be in love with another woman, I am absolutely certain I love Angela. I am also certain that should I outlive her, I would likely choose another woman as my spouse.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


It's absolutely wonderful when one realizes a true connection when speaking before a class. Last night was one of those occasions. We had a panel of seven GLBT+ folks talking about the more than 15,000 rights those in the community lack, marriage, and coming out. We had a panel of seven GLBT+ folks talking about the more than 15,000 rights those in the community lack, marriage, and coming out. We shared experiences and difficulties, and the class members asked excellent questions. There is no question that some hearts and minds were changed and others were opened to expanding horizons. There were tears, surprises and many who came to talk to us individually after class. We were all honored to have been invited to speak, and gratified by the response from the class.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

What am I?

Angela and I speak to groups often, and when we do, this question always comes up: "Are you lesbians?"

I have a quick answer: "I'm a Straight Lesbian." I say that, not to make light of who and what I am, but to point out that labels seldom tell the whole story. I certainly married "straight." I am a woman who married a man. If I simply said, "Yes, I'm a lesbian," I'd be denying 35 years of marriage to a man. I would also be denying that Angela existed as another person (David) and all that his, and our, life was while Angela was David.

There is no question that we now are Lesbians, at least in the context of "if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck." We each love one another, we are both women, and we make love to one another, so we are "tada!" - Lesbian. Of course, the same things were true for us as man and wife for more than 35 years too. So, perhaps, I'm "Bisexual." Does that mean I'm not Lesbian any more?

Labels are just confusing. Oh, they are great for speaking about groups of people: men who are attracted to men are considered Homosexuals, and women who are attracted to women are considered Lesbian. Both were, or are, considered Queer and/or Gay, mostly depending on the age of the person doing the talking. Things get a little sticky when you try to pin an indiviual down though.

I think I'll stick with Straight Lesbian.

Monday, July 13, 2009

First Things

Angela is feeling better - slightly. So what are the first things she does? She blows off the patio, dusts the front eight rooms of the house, and gets out the sweeper. That's my girl! Of course, each of those items completely wore her out, so she took a thirty-minute break between each - and a two-hour nap before and after lunch. No, I wasn't home to see that she was overdoing it, but the evidence was clear when I returned from my meetings. She also confirmed her exploits over dinner. Yes, she was decidedly "done-in" for the remainder of day, evening and night. It'll be all I can do to keep her from cutting trees tomorrow! That's my T! It's also one of the Best Things About Married to a Transsexual.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Celebrity vs Soldiers

I am concerned about the way we go nuts over celebrities. I don’t just mean Michael Jackson; I mean sports heroes and movie, TV and radio celebs. One of them dies and the world goes into mourning. What happens when a soldier dies? Their family and a few friends go into mourning. Congress has a moment of silence for a celebrity, but nothing when a soldier dies. Folks flock to a celebrity to get an autograph, but can’t show up at the airport to welcome home a fallen soldier from their own community. Okay, I’m from the Vietnam generation, where “our boys” were spat on; but there is no excuse these days. Our country “supposedly” supports our soldiers. There should at least be a moment of silence in congress every day a soldier dies. There should be a line of folks from every community lining the departure streets from every airport when a fallen soldier comes home. Think about it next time you think about spending money on a celebrity. Angela, as David, spent 23 years in the A.F. and is a much decorated officer, as was my father. I celebrate them every day!

Friday, July 3, 2009

I'm Proud of Her

Sometimes I think she’s downright insane. She’s been very sick for six weeks, but when a neighbor noted that a couple of our trees were encroaching on their property she immediately got the chainsaw and took care of the problem. Yes, I told her not to do it until she was better, and yes, I helped. It only took a couple of hours to fill up our massive garbage bin. She’s been resting/sleeping ever since (except for meals). She takes responsibility as a priority. If something needs doing, she gets it done, even if she’s not feeling well. She took that same attitude as an officer in the Vietnam War. She, as David, received the Distinguished Flying Cross, more Air Medals than I care to count (26), and has flown in every version of the B-52. She’s my hero(ine) in more ways than I care to count. I’ve very proud to be her wife and to have her as mine. That's just one more Best Thing About Being Married to a T!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Looking for answers in all the wrong places

I’ve got a frustrated patient on my hands. Angela is in pain from a serious rash that the docs just can’t seem to pin down. She’s had this for over a month, and we’ve done tests galore. Nothing specific turns up. The good news is that we keep deleting “bad things this could be,” as the docs say. “It’s not her heart, it’s not leukemia, it’s not . . .” You get the idea.
We’re still waiting for results on Valley Fever. Meanwhile, her rash keeps getting worse, and her various other symptoms continue. She’s coping with the heavy night sweats (no, they aren’t hot flashes), the low-grade fever, the cough, tiredness, lack of strength, and shortness of breath. But, she is not dealing well with the rash (no, it’s not shingles). She keeps asking me, “What should I do?” I guess I should take that as a good sign. She still looks to me even as frustrated as she is, and in as much pain as she’s in. I just wish I had an answer besides, “call the doctor, and make another appointment.” Yes, SHE actually goes-to-the-doctor! That's a Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual, but it's still hard to watch someone you care about deal with discomfort.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Goofy Little Things

If it's little thing that count, then it's the goofy ones that give us glimpses of a deeper love shared by two people. It’s just a touch or a smile sometimes, or perhaps it’s a special inside joke or action that warms our heart: While Angela and I were on our honeymoon we saw an older couple walking together slowly. The wife clung, with one hand, to her husband’s bicep like it was a lifeline. He reached across her - with the same arm - to hold her other hand. That is how they strolled around Niagara Falls. Occassionally, one or the other of us will grab the other's bicept and walk along a sidewalk. We may look strange to others, but we're sharing a fond memory.

Chitty, Chitty Bang, Bang is a movie we've always enjoyed. Not far into the movie, Grandpa “helps” push a car by placing a single finger on his grandson’s back. We chuckle over this scene often. Now, in fact, we find ourselves imitating them just-for-fun. Doing so brings back fond memories and links our present to pleasant events in our lives.

Monday, June 22, 2009

I'm back

It's been crazy around here!

Angela's has been ill, my sister has been here for a visit, and Brooke has had a big birthday bash.

Angela's been down for almost a month now, and she's bored to death. She hasn't been able to do much except go for doctor's visits, and she hasn't been able to see the granddaughters at all. She wept about having to miss the birthday party.

The good news is she has been a great patient. She has kept on the lookout for little things she can do without expending too much energy - like fixing a leak, doing the laundry, and helping with dinner. She has been busy with sleeping and reading too. Most of all, she has managed to stay in good humor through all of this, and what a change that has been!

See, hormones make all the differnce in the world.

Monday, June 8, 2009


“I don’t know how to say this but there’s a snake in the yard, and it’s a big one!” So said Angela, the past mighty hunter of all things creepy and crawly. It was a good-sized snake, but it was also quite lethargic. I must admit I was surprised she was concerned about it. Usually, when She was a He, he would just go get an ax and give it a whack – then come and tell me about it. It must be the hormones. I went out to take a look (and take a picture, of course, while Angela got an ax. The head was promptly removed and the body and placed in the dumpster. . It’s so nice to share the little things of one’s day, isn’t it? It’s just another of those Best things about being married to a T!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

From my Draft on Bree!

okay, so I should have posted this first, but my brain was on BABY and not on Posting!
Bree Caitlan arrived at 10:12 yesterday morning(May 29). She was 6 lbs 11 oz and 19.5 inches long. She came after 6 weeks of bed rest for our daughter who stayed with us 4 nights and two days each week, along with our 23 mo old granddaughter. Daniel’s parents took care of them two days a week at their home, and Daddy was in charge on the weekends. Daniel joined us for dinner sometimes too. He’s a good Daddy, but their staying here made it easier on everyone – sleep wise for Daniel, rest for Aud, and easier playtimes with Brooke - while we were still being able to tend to things here at home.

Miss Bree arrived not breathing, but quickly became the loudest kid in the nursery. Once all the docs and nurses finished fooling with her, she settled right down to sleeping. When she awoke, she began cooing at everyone. No one can resist smiling when a newborn ‘speaks.’ She’s in her room with her mommy and daddy now, resting on mommy’s chest and nursing well. We’re taking Brooke to see her baby sister today. That will be a treat for us all!
Ah yes, I was there for the delivery while Angela babysat Brooke at home. Yep, that’s a Best thing about being married to a T again!

Baby Bree Has Arrived

May 29 a brand new person suddenly was, who never was before! (That's a line from the musical "I DO! I DO" based on the play The Four Poster). Her name is Bree Caitlan, and, of course, she's adorable! She was born cesarean, and she wasn’t breathing, which gave us quite a scare. “This is normal,” said the docs, as everyone else worried while they worked over her little body. There was a lusty cry after a few minutes, and we all smiled. She continued to howl for a good fifteen minutes while she was poked and prodded, measured, weighed, and put through all the required tests.

She came home on the first of June, and settled right into the routine of home life. She slept through dinner, so we all had a nice repast. Then she awoke and demanded her fair share. She’s an excellent breast feeder, unlike her sister, who had a difficult first week learning how that worked. Brooke was a month premature, so that was the primary reason for that problem.

Brooke has taken to her little sister completely. She’s offering to share her blanket, which is a real coup for Bree, since Brooke will hardly let her “blankie” out of sight!

Welcome, little Bree!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Things couldn't get any stranger

It all started around 9 p.m.:
I was getting the baby ready for bed.
Our daughter, who’s been confined to bed rest through the last couple months of her pregnancy, was having contractions again.
Angela was going to bed to read. She was also having some having some indigestion/angina discomfort, and so she was monitoring her blood pressure. It was a little high.
10 p.m. rolled around and -
the baby began what was to become an intestinal episode.
Angela’s blood pressure was suddenly quite high(!)
Aud’s contractions got closer together.
11 p.m. and all H--- broke loose:
We headed for the emergency room, and checked in at Children’s Hospital
I warned the nurse practitioner that we had “a couple other problems going on.”
She said, “We have a full service emergency room, but we’ll probably transfer both of them to their regular hospital - if there’s time.”
I was seeing myself having to leave the baby at the hospital so I could take both Angela and Audra to another hospital – Aud to have the baby and Angela with another heart episode.
Because the baby was in distress, we were quickly upgraded and taken in to see the doctor.
Aud’s contractions were now 2 minutes apart, but when she lays down with the baby, the contractions lessoned.
Thankfully, Angela's blood pressure began to settle down.
The granddaughter was diagnosed with an intestinal blockage after being seen by the doctor and having X-rays.
1 a.m.
The baby gets meds and soon appears to be on the road to recovery; Aud's contractions continued to lessen; and Angela was finally okay.
2 a.m. The blockage was taken care of, and all was well.
3 a.m. We checked out of the emergency room and returned home
4 a.m. Everyone went to bed.
6:30 a.m. Our alarms went off – It was time to get ready to take Audra to her 8 a.m. OB appointment.
Angela handled breakfast, and off they went while Brooke and I slept in until 8 a.m.
It’s great to have a T for a spouse! (Yes, Angela has an appointment to see her heart specialist next week!)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Dinner and a movie

No, it wasn’t a date; yes, it was Dinner and a Movie.

We worked our behinds off today. Angela worked on more projects than I have fingers for – hardware for new drapes, cleaning house, doing the laundry, making a few store runs for her projects’ necessities and half a dozen other etceteras. I worked outside all day, mowing, planting, killing weeds, trimming bushes and working in the garden in 90+-degree heat. Dumb, huh? When I stopped at 5 p.m. I was beat – too tired actually. So she fixed dinner and let me cool off with a drink and a catch up on the daily national news. She also added yet another run to the store, this time it was to KFC for their coleslaw - just because I like it. She picked out a movie we both love, and we snuggled up on the couch and watched it together. What more could I ask for? So, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a T!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Busy waiting - how about you.

No, I haven't been sitting on my backside, but I have been waiting around. Our daughter is 34 weeks into a problematic pregnancy and has been restricted to bed rest. Angela and I have been babysitting our granddaughter, sometimes at our home, and some times at our daughter and son-in-law’s. It’s amazing how busy a 22 month old can be. It’s also amazing how busy she's kept us. Our daughter and granddaughter have come over each Monday evening and returned home on Friday morning when Daniel's parents take over for the day. How do we work out our schedules? We compliment each other by using our strengths - Angela’s a morning person, and I’m a night owl. I do the middle of the night (2 and 4 a.m.) wake ups that usually amount to a few pats on the back, a couple ounces of milk and an occasional diaper change. Angela takes over the early morning wake up call (5:30 or 6 a.m., which is a bit early for her, but she manages just fine). She changes Brooke and gives her breakfast. That allows our daughter and me to sleep in. We both fetch and carry for our daughter and have a ball playing with Brooke. So yep, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a T. On our "off days" we mow the lawn, clean the house, take care of bills and otherwise sleep in. Meanwhile, we wait and stay VERY Busy! - All Day. There'll be a new baby "soon." We just don't know "how soon."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Laughing together

It was one of those days when both of us had long job jar lists, were tired from a prior day of tree cutting, and our minds were fretting about our granddaughter's continuing bout with a stomach flu. We carefully managed each job and were actually feeling pretty good about whittling down our lists.

About mid-afternoon, we both seemed to run out of brainpower, I guess. I was mowing the back yard when Angela stepped outside onto the patio and motioned for me to ‘pull over and turn off the mower’. I did. She walked over with a big grin on her face. “You’d probably have more success,” she said, “if you put the blade down.” I looked at the yard and realized I hadn’t taken off more than a half inch of grass. I looked at Angela’s broad smile, put the blade down and broke out in guffaws. She joined me. She soon returned inside and I started the mower.

I put away the lawn tractor and headed into the house. The sweeper was going, so I walked in to report that her suggestion had resulted in a nicely cut lawn. I reached the hall and stopped dead in my tracks. Angela was sweeping the laundry room with the wand. The body of our upright Kirby stood at the doorway facing into the room. Dust and small debris the dogs had brought in was puffing out from the zipper area. A small, but growing, pile was forming in the hallway. A grin spread across my face as I stepped into the laundry room and tapped her on the shoulder. I waited for her to turn off the sweeper and then said, “I think you forgot to put the bag in the sweeper.” I pointed into the hall. She looked at the little pyramid of dust in the hallway and broke into a giggling fit. Ten minutes later, she was sucking up the mess with the shop-vac and heading to the Kirby store for replacement bags.

I love these times when we’ve caught each other in little boo-boos and can laugh together at our foibles. Ah yes, it's another Best Thing About Being Married to a T!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Hormones don't change everything or My T has a boo-boo

Hormones don't change everything. Angela still has that thing about not going to doctors that most guys have. So, while working on installing the new sink, she got a boo-boo - a scratch from a staple. It didn't bleed much, and it didn't seem serious, so she didn't worry about it. A couple of days later, she showed me that the area seemed to have become infected. I suggested she open it up and give it a good cleaning out, which she promptly ignored. Well, it got worse. I know that doesn't come as a big surprise to most of you, but it did to her. We left for our RV trip on Thursday, and by then, it had begun to show little spots of puss through the pores of her skin in the growing area of infection. By this morning, the area that had been about the size of a silver dollar, had grown to encompass the better part of her forearm. So, we headed for the local emergency room. We were shown to a room quickly, and Angela was immediately put on an antibiotic drip. She was also given antibiotics in pill form. The drip took a tad over an hour, and when it was all done, we headed for the local drugstore to fill the prescription. All is well, and her arm is already looking better. She has felt fine through all of this, but she will have to hear a few, "I told you sos" from me over not taking care of her injury when it happened AND NOT GOING TO THE DOCTOR when it starting looking bad! So, hormones may change many things, but it doesn't change hat old "no need to see a doctor" attitude. I still have the perfect T, but I have to warn you, Hormones Don't Change Everything!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Nurse Angela to the Rescue

Ninety- percent of the time it's me that gets to play Nurse, because Angela has a penchant for falling out off ladders, slicing and dicing fingers, legs and other parts of her body, and less frequently, heart episodes. However, Friday and Saturday it was Angela that got to hold the barf bag. She has had plenty of practice as everytime I've had even the most minor surgery, I've been sick from anesthesia everytime. So far, medical sience hasn't outfoxed my system - my body knows when anesthesia is used - period. I'm okay in the dentist chair though; go figure. Novocain must not count, at least not for me. Anyway, among the hundreds of things my Transsexual is great at, it'd be a hard choice between fixing everything and be a great nurse.

When one is under the weather enough that a barf container must be nearby, one really feels sick. So, it is definitely a comfort to have a good nurse on duty. Angela fits the bill. I'm not good around anyone barfing, nor am I worth a damn if clean-up is required. That doesn't mean I haven't had to be around a barfer, and heaven's knows, I've had to clean it up - as does anyone who has kids and dogs. But, Angela has made it a career. If I'm going under anesthesia, she knows the look and always has an emesis basin under my nose when needed. This weekend was just one of those things - flu, cold, bad food (I've eaten out for lunch for 4 days running) or water - but I certainly kept her hovering. I usually made it to the bathroom, but she was there, just in case.

Now, I don't know about you, but having Angela around when I'm sick is decidedly one of the Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual!

Friday, March 27, 2009


Spring is certainly here. Here in Fresno we are already having temperatures in the high seventies, and that means lots of yard work. My back and shoulders are already aching just thinking about it! You know what, though, Angela is the one that has to do all the hard stuff, and she never complains. It's sprinkler-fix time. Yesterday afternoon, while I was having lunch with friends, she dug out three sprinklers, replaced them, and had them up in running in the two hours I was gone. Now, if you live in a place where the soil is nice and sandy, that would not be a challenge. BUT: around here, we have this dreadful thing called hardpan. So, digging a hole that's deeper than about 6 inches is a real back breaker. So, I bless her little heart (and strong muscles, even though they are far less strong than when they were before David's transition ! Yeah, hormones sometimes work in reverse too.).

I get all the fun jobs like mowing the lawn, weeding and planting the garden. When I started laying out my vegetable garden, Angela quickly got involved. She got out the graph paper so my plots were perfectly measured out. While I helped dig the sixty-foot trench for the main line of the sprinkler system for my irrigation, she designed it! Not only does it work perfectly, but the row of sprinklers is detachable so I can get them out of the way for rototilling and harvesting. It's great to have a mathmatical whiz in the family. She has all the design savy of a decorator and all that logical brain stuff from her years as David!

Oh yeah, we're going to have to take down a tree. Dast oh dear! Retirement has its blessings, but having lots of ready monies for hiring people like tree trimmers and gardeners is not one of them. So, we have to take down the tree; It's roots are getting under the patio. The last time we did this it was a math project, so I'm sure this one will be all the more so because it's near the house. There are also several other trees in the back yard, so this particular tree must be dropped in exactly the right place. I know it will be triagulated, measured, and cut perfectly, so I have no worries. Again, Angela is my mathmatical angel.

Yep, spring makes me aware of many of the Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Seeing, doing and learning

Some of great things about RVing is seeing the scenery go by and leaning new things.

It's spring and many of the trees are blooming; wildflowers too. Other trees, still barren, remind me of animals or people. I should have pulled off to take some pictures with titles like Spooning Trees, The Rooster, The lookout, and many more.

While on this trip we passed a Windmill Farm. Yep, you heard me, a Windmill Farm where the family collects windmills and “plants” them in rows in the front yard. If you want to see for yourself: head East on State Route 88 off Highway 99 in California. It's on the North side of the street.

The RV Park was having a new water well put in. So, we took the opportunity to talk with the workers and learn about the process. Later in the week, we enjoyed watching the rodeo crowd roll in. Some of the young competitors had their "practice bulls" which are much like the mechanical bulls you see at arcades and bars except they are "hand driven." Another person must provide the “action” for the rider. It was also nice to add whinnies and donkey brays to the sounds around us. We were in Gold Country, so we learned how the placer miners lived. The area is full of museums and parks - wineries too.

Guess what? We were also Out-of-Touch with the whole world. Why? Our phones and Internet connections didn’t work 99% of the time because we were in the mountains. We felt like we’d stepped back in time a few years. Instead of being worried about our latest phone or email message, we thought about how the gold miners lived. We enjoyed chatting with fellow RVers, we caught up on reading, and we played with and walked our doggies.

Get an RV and ENJOY!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Work, Work, Work

It has been a good time to have an RV, but THIS week did NOT turn out to be all we had hoped. It has been raining, you see. It has been raining a LOT, particularly in the area where we had planned to spend a nice, relaxing weekend with friends, walking the dogs, catching up on our magazine reading, and generally taking it easy. It didn't turn out that way though. We arrived at the chosen RV park and found it soggy, to say the least. RVs were getting bogged down left and right. Even the van conversions had to be pulled out of mud holes. We quickly decided that at 27,000 lbs, and 39' there was no chance we were going to escape sinking to our wheel hubs. So, we opted out of our 4-day weekend plans and headed back home. At least it was a lovely day for a drive. We had left at 9 a.m. and arrived back home at 4:45. Yes, we may have to forfeit our prepaid dollars, and yes, we still used up the diesel, and yes we will miss all the camaraderie with friends. But, we won't have all the muddy cleanup we would have had, not to mention possible repair costs if we'd had to have been pulled out of a bog by a tractor. Anyway, not going on an outing means Work, Work, Work.

It's spring. There are weeds to pull, gardens to prepare, and lawns to mow. All of it needs to be done RIGHT NOW, of course. So, one must prioritize, right? One should also do the hardest jobs first, I suppose - darn. Well, I chose to combine both an easy and a hard job. I began with spraying for weeds. With 2.8 acres, there are a lot of areas that need to be sprayed with "kill everything in sight - forever" stuff. That was the easy job. It only took a couple of hours. Next came the hard job: digging out weeds that may overtake trees and plants. There were more than plenty of those, I'm sorry to say. After all of that, I got out the weed and feed fertilizer. Needless to say, I was glad to see Thursday's List done.

Friday's list is short: dig-the-trench. Since we doubled the size of our vegetable garden area, additional watering systems must be installed. Its my garden, so its my trench to dig. The good news is the ground is wet.

Today is install the new watering system and finish the roto-tilling. I'll just have to ignore sore muscles over the next few days.

Angela fixed and shade in the RV that fell down, on Thursday. It was a big project because the plastic casing broke. She also did all the design for the new water system on Friday and made all the purchases. Today we'll install the watering system together, and we'll have a lot of fun doing it, mud and all.

Tomorrow will be mow, mow, mow for me while Angela cleans house and does the laundry. I love having a wife that is a handy person and a good housekeeper too! It's just one of those Best Things about being Married to a Transsexual again!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Working together

Wow, we spent nearly a whole day painting together. We actually had lots of laughs too! Angela managed to paint one side of my jeans with the roller as she "helped" me move it. I managed to paint a couple spots on the ceiling. We both ended up with paint in our hair, on our faces, and on our clothes and shoes too. Believe it or not, we even had fun cleaning each other up afterwards. Go ahead, let your imagination run free - okay, truth be told, we we were too tired for any of "that." All of this took place at our daughter and son-in-law's home, so we had a 19th month old "helping" too. We all survived in good humor! Brooke threw a ball into the paint, and we all lost ourselves in laughter. We had lots of "you missed a spot" teasing, plus lots of helpful hints and, yes, touching and carrying on. In short, it turned out to be a delightful day, as virtually all days are with Angela. That's not to say there were good days when the "evil twin" (David) was around, (there were great!) but, now there is JOY instead of "some-light-moments". Now there is actual sharing of (and in) the work, and we actually enjoy doing these kinds of things together. Yes, when both people are who they need to be, life goes on like Real Life should be (or at least my version of "should). I'm so glad I'm married to a T - and so, guess what: here's another Best Thing About Being Married to a T! Oh yes, we got a great dinner out of the deal. Aud made a supurb chicken dish we'd have had to pay big bucks for at a restaurant.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Don't be a gaycist - or a Transist!

Great video, if you're interested:
Join in, be a part of the courage campaign. Fresno will be having a courage camp next month, and I'll be there.
Here's the deal, we're all in this together, and it's NOT 'just about marriage' - it's about Civil Rights. Everyone in the GLBTQI+ communities deserve the rights others have. We , whether you are straight (but not narrow) or already a part of the community/family, have to get everyone on board the civil rights bandwagon. There is no reason everyone who is committed can't file joint income tax returns, be recognized as a family member/couple when one of them goes to a hospital, dies, or is jailed. There is no reason they can't marry. There is no reason their marriage shouldn't be recognized in a state outside of the one they were married in. There are hundreds of reasons GLBTQI+ folks don't share the same rights as others, and it is just plain WRONG. Years from now, folks will look back and wonder what the hubub was about, and some will be ashame of the side they were on, just as happened with the last civil rights movement. Unfortunately, it was the folks who should have been in the forefront (the religious right) that were fighting against civil right for Blacks. Now, they're fighting against civil right for those in the GLBTQI+ community. It's time folks just decided people are people. Yep, there are bad and good eggs in each group, but that's no reason to hold up civil rights for anyone. Speak out, step out and help the cause. Get on board!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Computers are wonderful but it's good to have a T too

Okay, I admit I am no computer whiz. The good news is that Angela is. She's been knowlegeable about computers all the way back to the DOS days when she wrote her own programs. A few years later, she became a computer engineer through Netscape systems while she was teaching. So her coming to my rescue is not a new thing. Recently, while working on an 82 page document using a couple different computers, I pushed a couple buttons incorrectly and lost the whole thing. I fiddled with it awhile and then called on Angela for help. Yep, she came to my rescue and got almost all of the file back. As you might image, I wasn't particularly happy about that, so I decided to take the rest of the day off. She kept at it.

Today, there's good news in the Pettit household again! The file came up good as new on the portable! I don't know what voo-doo Angela did, but she saved my neck again! Now, this may not be a remarkable thing around some houses, but it is around here. That is so because, you see, there were lots of giggles, jokes and good natured fun going on while all that 'saving my neck' got done. That's just one of the delightful things about having a T around!

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Cure

Angela's cured of that one last compulsive aspect of her former life. David was such a clean freak that it drove me nuts sometimes(most times). I mean it was just below the white glove inspection, typical serviceman, clean. This last year, that has disappeared completely. Now, I find I have to watch that I don't turn into the "you missed a spot" nut. I can't help but chuckling though, when the sweeper just hits the high spots, or the baseboards aren't done. I do have to bite my tongue when there are fingerprints on the light switches and fridge door handles. I do get after her about missing my shower. Showers should just be kept after in my book. Okay, some of the compulsiveness rubbed off, I guess. I really don't know why that is the one thing that hung on with me, but it did. I think it's because my parent's home always seemed to have a mildew problem, so we all had to keep after it. My sister and I took turns as we got older, and my mother, at least until she was over 70, was a clean freak too. She used to iron underware and ties. Does that give you any idea what I mean? All the furniture was moved every two months, without fail, and rearranged too. I don't think our furniture gets rearranged at all, except to make room for the Christmas Tree. It seldom gets moved for cleaning these days either, and that's okay. Don't get me wrong, all the couches do get swept under with the extention hose, just not moved. Anyway, some days I get a bigger kick out of Angela's housecleaning tasks than others. She usually does it on the day I'm out of the house for the better part of the day, probably so I can't kibbitz. So, I think it's safe to say, Angela is a completely normal woman who has lots of things to do, and housecleaning gets done, but not to the near white glove perfection that used to be required. I'm so pleased! Aren't Ts wonderful? I just love the fact that she prefers to do the housecleaning. Yep, that's another Best Thing About Being Married to a T.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Computers are time eaters

Boy, it's been three weeks since I last posted, and it feels like it's been ten minutes - well okay, ten days maybe! I've been on the computer a lot. I've found that means time seems to scream by. Before one knows it, hours have passed. I've been going to bed at midnight. I sit down at the computer around ten p.m., and the next thing I know, I can hardly keep my eyes open. The old clock on the wall (or on the computer) reads midnight or later, and I think I've hardly begun my project for the evening. I've been looking up recent pamphlets available for Ts as I'm updating my list. You see, I wrote a book about Angela's transition from my viewpoint. I think it's important that a wife's view is out there, particularly since our marriage is thriving since the transition. The only problem is that, for me, working on the computer makes time disappear! When I'm concentrating on something, I get lost in the project, and days can go by, not just hours. I love talking about Angela since her transition on this blog, and I miss doing it. But, as you can see, days have skipped by while I spent time on the computer. All I can say is I'm sorry! I'll try not to get so wrapped up in the computer that I let weeks get by me again.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

It's a Gloomy, Glorious Day!

Rain! Gads how I love it, even if it leaves the skies overcast and gloomy. Angela and I have been out cutting shoots around the olive trees that line the western side of our yard between rain showers. There are five of them. We got the largest done a couple of weeks ago; three done today, and the last will have to wait until our big dumpster is emptied. Damp weather and hard work may not be the picture most folks see for a glorious day, but I do. I do because Angela have fun when we work together. There's a bit of kibitzing going on, along with a fair amount of "let me help with that," happening too. After all these years, we've got this job down to something of a science, so we work well as a team. These lovely trees are great shade trees, even though they are messy. They send up loads of shoots, and they drop olives for half the year. Yet I love them almost as much as I love gloomy, glorious days like today.

I also love working in my garden when it's damp out. I like the smell of the earth, and I like knowing I'm helping a plant grow better when I yank out a weed. It's nice to hear, "that' lettuce is really doing pretty well," from Angela too. This is the first year I've tried lettuce. We don't get much time for "cool weather crops" around here. Besides that, the rabbits, moles, gophers, and birds have a heyday in the garden too - not to mention ants and insects.

I guess I like being outside in general, unless it is way too cold or hot. We don't get many of the way too cold days, but we do get the hot ones. So, today was a perfect day. We got some of the rain we needed. We got another portion of a big job, the trees, done, and my small lettuce patch is weeded. I'm tired and happy. Now I must hit the grocery store before the kids come over for dinner. We'll have a nice steak, and we'll play with Brooke, and we'll catch up on what Aud and Daniel have been up to for the last week.

What more could someone ask from a gloomy, glorious day?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Saved by the T!

Whew! Talk about being lucky, Angela saved the day again! Not only did she save the day, she saved our lives. On top of all that, she made us very comfortable as well! Okay, here's the story. You know we go RVing, and this past week was no exception. We had a lovely stay with the Rainbow RV group at Morro Bay. We had glorious SUN (which we don't see a lot of in Fresno), too much wind, just the right amount of wind, and perfect temps mid day.

The first day started out just fine except for a cold wind which pretty much ruined our evening gathering since it was outdoors. Because it was so windy, we pulled our 4 slides in (it was too noisy otherwise). When we did that, we noticed we had no heat in the front of the coach. After putting the slide in and out a couple times, everything was working fine again, so we went to bed. The next morning, Angela said she'd "worried through the night." So, she decided to "check it out." Good thing! What we had was a kinked gas line! I don't know if you know much about propane, but it's deadly - as is most gas when it gets out in an enclosed space. We hadn't sprung a leak yet, but because the hose flexed and kinked-depending on where the slide was, it was obvious it was eventually going to break/spring a leak/open a hole. Of course, it was Saturday, and we were in a small town we weren't familiar with. It was also 4:30 p.m. which meant anything open was likely to be closed in 30 minutes. Angela turned off the gas and set about removing the line. The RV folks told us of a local hardware store, and Angela dashed off to find them. The nice folks at this ACE Hardware (that's a plug folks) helped her get all the connectors and so forth. She was soon back to work replacing the whole thing, and redesigning how it would be routed so we wouldn't have the same problem again. After it was all said and done, she admitted, "I didn't think I'd be able to do that." That's a first for her! She can fix almost anything, and I just assumed, because of that, that she had worked with gas lines before! I was blithely unworried as I handed her tools and held the flashlight for her. As usual, though, she did a perfect job. So, she saved the day, our lives, and our comfort, as we'd have frozen our buns off if we hadn't had heat all night! She is a wonder, and yep, this is just another "Best Thing About Being Married to a T!" I am very thankful for her "can do" attitude, and her willingness to tackle new projects. Her mechanical abilities never cease to amaze me. She later said it was because she had so often replaced hoses on cars that she was willing to tackle this job without fear. Most of us "girls" don't have the experience with cars that most guys do, so again her "guy knowledge" came to our rescue - without the attitude though! Boy, am I lucky to be married to a T!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Happy Birthday to Angela

Today is Angela's Birthday - well, one of them. It's the Anniversary of her SRS. There were a few years when she celebrated her "real" birthday, the date she began hormones, the date she began to dress full time, AND the date of her sex reassignment surgery. As you might imagine, being a woman, she expected gifts for each of these occasions. I indulged her initially, and then I began to whittle down the dates until it was just two - her natal day, and her arrival day. After we retired, she elected to maintain only her original birthday, as that is when her family celebrates it with cards, letters, and gifts.

I can't, however, let this day pass, because it is important in ways far more noteworthy than merely a date on a calendar. Officially, for sixty years, she existed in the wrong body. She hid herself. She hid from her parents, siblings, relatives and friends, and then she hid from her wife and daughter as well as more friends and colleagues. She became withdrawn, depressed, angry, and more and more unhappy with each passing year. Finally, she confessed to me. She was sure I was going to leave her, divorce her, and take our daughter with me. She was sure she'd loose her family and all her friends. Instead, she found - and freed - her true self.

She became a woman somewhat gradually, starting out as a closet cross-dresser, and then, after her dramatic revelation, she dressed openly. We joined Tri-ess, got counseling, and discovered that Angela's belief that she should have been born a woman was real. We began to follow the Harry Benjamin Standards as we moved towards her SRS. We had the help of excellent professionals, particularly our councilor and psychologist, Sally Hunt.

Her surgeon was a marvel, and we certainly recommend Dr. Brassard from Montreal, Canada. His clinic and staff are wonderful, and his recovery lodge is delightful. We both wish all who make this transition an equally outstanding medical team.

Now, Angela is ALL woman! She wears blue jeans and sweatshirts sometimes, and she isn't always in heels. Inside her, though, she's dressed to the nines - or even the tens or elevens, if you ask me. The reality is that she is happy. She IS Angela, and she's all mine. If this transition hadn't happened in 02, we would have been divorced, and both of us would have been unhappy. We would have lost our soul-mate, and we would be without our true selves. We are individuals, but we are part of a team, a twosome, and we are a couple. We couldn't be happier.

Happy Birthday, Angela, I love you!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Holidays End

I don't have a job to return to like most folks do, so it's my Job Jar that tasks me now. It's filled with all the things I was going to do, meant to do, and should have already done. My single New Year's Resolution is to actually get after all of those.

My main Going-To-Do-Job is to watch what I eat. I lost 35 lbs last year, and I plan that this year will result in a like loss (four stars to Nutri System, but I can't afford them now that I'm not working). I've stayed under 150 in '08, and my '09 plan is to get down to - and stay under - 135 lbs.

My Meant-To-Do Job was finishing the inventory of the house. I got all but three rooms done, this year, even though I promised myself I'd do the whole house. Oh yeah, I should add that I hope to add the garage and shop building WHEN I finish the three rooms that are not yet completed. My biggest problem with accomplishing the inventory of a room is there are too many"stoppers." You know what they are drawers filled with all the things I can't seem to throw away. Emptying them isn't as easy as I want it to be, but I promise to accomplish the task, none the less.

The Should- Have-Already-Been-Done list is the "just for me" things that should've been added to my daily living plans years ago: more time reading, exercising, and writing. Well, this is the year they are going to happen.

The good news is Angela will be supportive. I like that. The bad news is she'll pester me to do them. I guess I like that too.