The New Puppy

"We don't need another dog," Angela said.

"Of course we do, we used to have three, and now we only have two," I said.

I wait. I wait another week. And then, my Angela came through. She said, "there are Bichons in the paper."

"Really?" I said. "Let me see that."

"That's a local call, you know," she remarked.

"Umhuh," I remarked.

"You could go this afternoon," she pointed out, "after your PT appointment.
"Yes, I could. I guess I should call," I pointed out.

"Umhuh."

She knew that if I went to look, we'd have a puppy, and so we did. I picked TinkerBelle out at three weeks old, and I checked up on her every week. I even took the grandkids with me twice, so they could see the puppy grow.

Tink was the first of the litter to venture out of her box, and she let me turn her over for a tummy rub from the first time we met. Eight-weeks went by so slowly, I could hardly keep myself away, and Angela loved the phone pictures.

I brought her in the house and she was first overwhelmed by Cassandra, the one year old puppy, and then our new baby dog made a pass through Angela's arms for a big snuggle. Next, the kids got to hold her, and  finally, her feet touched the floor and she was able to explore a bit. Angela beamed as much as I, and the grandkids agreed she was "a cupcake," as the eldest remarked. "That's because her collar has cupcakes on it, and that's how sweet she is." There goes that adult-concept-thing again in our five-year old granddaughter.

"I'll add the third lead to the leash," Angela said.


"That would be great." I said.


Here's just another Best Thing About Being Married To A Transsexual.

Her's two of our doggies taking a snooze: Chloe Petunia, the one year old, and TinkerBelle, the baby.

They are Bichon Frise with puppy (hair) cuts.

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The Big Birthday Bash

I just love watching Angela work. She is a whirling dervish. No kidding. She never stops. She seems to be in several places at once. I look one way, and there she is setting up tables, I look the other and she's hanging a banner or a balloon. When the blow-up pools, yes plural, are filled, the playhouse open, and the  swing set dusted off again, it's time for the kids to arrive. There are nearly as many parents as there are kids, but that makes it all the more fun for the grown-up and the kids. We get to catch-up, while the little ones are allowed a little more freedom. Mommies and Daddies are close-by for small boo-boos, and call-out like "you are too little to do that," or "watch out for the littler ones." Our grand-kids are turning 3 and 5, and their vocabularies are turning 22 and 24: The now 5-year-old tells me, "the surface is slippery," when she comes out of the pool and steps on the cement porch. The now 3-year-old wants to know, "why can't the world stop turning so the breeze doesn't blow so hard?" When words and concepts like "empathy, levering myself up, and grip-strength" become common-place, Angela and I wonder what their teachers are going to do with them when they start first grade, not to mention kindergarten.

Angela watches the kids in the pool while others sit and talk, she helps hold the kids up to the monkey-bars, even the toddlers. She catches the older ones who's "grip-strength" doesn't last long enough for the 5 handholds. She pushes swings while Mommies fix hamburgers. She finds more paper for coloring while Daddies hand out hot dogs. She monitors games of chase so the little ones can catch the big ones, and she hands out spoons for the sandbox when the other toys run out. She even settles a few kid-sized arguments before they turn into traumas Moms and Dads need to deal with. When she finally sits down to eat, it's time to open presents. She happily takes her lunch to the new location to watch. Yes, I was there, talking, eating, sorting out kids, but mostly I was getting towels, band-aides, and food from the house. Other times I was being the potty-monitor so little behinds got wiped and small, wet feet didn't slip on the entry tile.

Yes, Angela is my overseer of all good things, and that's just another Best Thing About Being Married To A Transsexual.

Little Things

There's an old saying about how "its the little things that count." I'm finding that true in my life with my T. Angela, as David, was always the gentleman; he opened doors, carried the heavy stuff, and did all the guy things. He also helped out in the kitchen and with raising our daughter. Now, I find that all those things continue, only now there is more granddaughter things on her list than helping the daughter things. The little things I'm talking about though, are just about the two of us: She is the one who fills the humidifier every-other-night. She's the one who says, kindly, "don't you think you should wear your compression arm," when I'm doing something unusual (it's for Lymphadema after the cancer surgery). She's the one who always takes the heavy end when we're liftiing something, even though her strength is much less than when she was a man due to the female hormones. She's the one who notices when I'm tired and suggests a break, a rest, or a nap. In short, she is always doing the little things that make my life easier. I appreciate that more than she will ever know. It's great to be married to a Trans!

Trans trumps all

If one ever wanted one of those obvious "the transition made a difference" moments, we had a couple over the last few days. Pre-transition, the Christmas tree always came down the weekend after New Years, if not before. It was like clockwork. All the extraneous stuff started being put away on those days leading up to the weekend, and then on Friday the icicles and garland were removed. Saturday, all the balls were put away. Sunday was a dawn to dusk lights-off-and tree-packed-away marathon. It didn't happen this year. In fact, this first weekend, we've been away on an RV trip, and the Christmas tree is only missing the icicles and the balls. The lights are still twinkling away. Furthermore, instead of immediately diving into the remove- the-lights-and-pack-away-the-tree mode, which would have been 100% the expected pre-transition activity, Angela is at the daughters painting the dining room! That'll be at least a two-day, and probably three-day project, and then we're off on another RV adventure for the weekend. So, the tree will probably not be packed away until we return. There hasn't been a word said about the still standing and partially decorated tree. Additionally, by now, all of the boxes would have found their way into their appointed spots in the attic. Instead, a pile ov boxes remains stacked in the garage, and I note What a Difference a Transition Makes. Aren't Transsexuals wonderful?

Beautiful daughter

The kids came over for dinner last night, and as the evening progressed, both Angela and I noticed how lovely our grown, married, mother of two daughter is as a woman. Sometimes it is difficult to not always think of her as "the kid." She just turned 39, and still looks to be about 19. There are no noticible wrinkles, and when we took her out for dinner for her birthday, the owner noted that she would have carded her had she not known her actual age. She is not only a great daughter, but she's also an excellent mother, and a good wife. We miss not having her around us all-the-time, but its always nice when they come over for their weekly dinner with us, &/or when we babysit the real kids (ages 2 and 6 months). I called her a few minutes ago just to tell her how beautiful we both thought she looked, and we both got a little teary-eyed.

Angela was a great father while Audra was growing up, and she's an equally great at being a grandmother. She plays with the kids like a woman, where she played like a father/male with Audra. She grew up in a less touchy-feely family than mine, and she has converted completely, especially with the grandchildren. She's more likely to be on the floor with one or both of them than I am even. She has infinite patience, and she takes great joy in everything they do. It's a so much fun to watch her interacting with the little ones. She's also built many of their toys - a rocking horse for Christmas last year, a desk/toy box for her birthday, and a whole swingset complex for Christmas this year. Who knows what she'll come up with next year. See, there's another advantage of having a T for a spouse - she can still do the mostly-male activities like building stuff (yes I hold the board or an end of the measurer, and I great at handing tools to Angela). She's also caring and gentle as a mother/grandmother can be. I am so lucky to have her!

Taking up the slack

I’ve learned more than I care to say about cancer, but the most surprising thing is that it completely takes over your life. Every weekday has at least one appointment for something –doctors, labs, scans, physical therapy and etc. Each week is regulated by where you are in the chemo cycle. Week one, you can do pretty much as you please. Week two: stay away from anyone with a cold because white cells are diminishing by the minute. Week three: by midweek, one regains their freedom as white cells regenerate. Of course, then it is time to do chemo again, and the cycle repeats. This weekend is officially “stay indoors, don’t go anywhere” per my doctor. So, I’m missing a mall play-date with the grandkids, a day of babysitting, an opening of a friend’s art gallery, a play we planned to see, and a Christmas shopping trip scheduled for tomorrow. Dast, oh dear! Dang! So, guess who is taking up the slack – all by herself – Angela of course! We usually do “kid things” together. Sometimes we both are “on duty,” and sometimes one of us leaves to work on a project, go shopping or meet friends for lunch. We relieve each other for breaks, but one of us is always with the kids. Today, it will be an all day affair for her, although our daughter will be there for the play-date and from time to time throughout the day. Angela is an excellent babysitter; she plays with Brooke like a big sister, and she is a champion at changing diapers and walking babies (yes, she was excellent at both as a father too). So, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual: a few hormones add a touch of tenderness and patience that all of us enjoy!

Breakfast at 6:30

One of the blessings Angela offers is doing breakfast each morning when Brooke is staying overnight. I'm not a morning person AT ALL! So, she gets up with our granddaughter and fixes her a nice breakfast. Of course, Angela is a morning person, but not always quite as early a morning person as Brooke is. They have a wonderful time just the two of them, while I continue my snoozes. Of course, I get up in the middle of the night, so it evens out, I suppose. However, doing early morning breakfasts is one of the Best Things About Being Married to a T for me.

I'm back

It's been crazy around here!

Angela's has been ill, my sister has been here for a visit, and Brooke has had a big birthday bash.

Angela's been down for almost a month now, and she's bored to death. She hasn't been able to do much except go for doctor's visits, and she hasn't been able to see the granddaughters at all. She wept about having to miss the birthday party.

The good news is she has been a great patient. She has kept on the lookout for little things she can do without expending too much energy - like fixing a leak, doing the laundry, and helping with dinner. She has been busy with sleeping and reading too. Most of all, she has managed to stay in good humor through all of this, and what a change that has been!

See, hormones make all the differnce in the world.

From my Draft on Bree!

okay, so I should have posted this first, but my brain was on BABY and not on Posting!
Bree Caitlan arrived at 10:12 yesterday morning(May 29). She was 6 lbs 11 oz and 19.5 inches long. She came after 6 weeks of bed rest for our daughter who stayed with us 4 nights and two days each week, along with our 23 mo old granddaughter. Daniel’s parents took care of them two days a week at their home, and Daddy was in charge on the weekends. Daniel joined us for dinner sometimes too. He’s a good Daddy, but their staying here made it easier on everyone – sleep wise for Daniel, rest for Aud, and easier playtimes with Brooke - while we were still being able to tend to things here at home.

Miss Bree arrived not breathing, but quickly became the loudest kid in the nursery. Once all the docs and nurses finished fooling with her, she settled right down to sleeping. When she awoke, she began cooing at everyone. No one can resist smiling when a newborn ‘speaks.’ She’s in her room with her mommy and daddy now, resting on mommy’s chest and nursing well. We’re taking Brooke to see her baby sister today. That will be a treat for us all!
Ah yes, I was there for the delivery while Angela babysat Brooke at home. Yep, that’s a Best thing about being married to a T again!

Baby Bree Has Arrived

May 29 a brand new person suddenly was, who never was before! (That's a line from the musical "I DO! I DO" based on the play The Four Poster). Her name is Bree Caitlan, and, of course, she's adorable! She was born cesarean, and she wasn’t breathing, which gave us quite a scare. “This is normal,” said the docs, as everyone else worried while they worked over her little body. There was a lusty cry after a few minutes, and we all smiled. She continued to howl for a good fifteen minutes while she was poked and prodded, measured, weighed, and put through all the required tests.

She came home on the first of June, and settled right into the routine of home life. She slept through dinner, so we all had a nice repast. Then she awoke and demanded her fair share. She’s an excellent breast feeder, unlike her sister, who had a difficult first week learning how that worked. Brooke was a month premature, so that was the primary reason for that problem.

Brooke has taken to her little sister completely. She’s offering to share her blanket, which is a real coup for Bree, since Brooke will hardly let her “blankie” out of sight!

Welcome, little Bree!

Things couldn't get any stranger

It all started around 9 p.m.:
I was getting the baby ready for bed.
Our daughter, who’s been confined to bed rest through the last couple months of her pregnancy, was having contractions again.
Angela was going to bed to read. She was also having some having some indigestion/angina discomfort, and so she was monitoring her blood pressure. It was a little high.
10 p.m. rolled around and -
the baby began what was to become an intestinal episode.
Angela’s blood pressure was suddenly quite high(!)
Aud’s contractions got closer together.
11 p.m. and all H--- broke loose:
We headed for the emergency room, and checked in at Children’s Hospital
I warned the nurse practitioner that we had “a couple other problems going on.”
She said, “We have a full service emergency room, but we’ll probably transfer both of them to their regular hospital - if there’s time.”
I was seeing myself having to leave the baby at the hospital so I could take both Angela and Audra to another hospital – Aud to have the baby and Angela with another heart episode.
Because the baby was in distress, we were quickly upgraded and taken in to see the doctor.
Aud’s contractions were now 2 minutes apart, but when she lays down with the baby, the contractions lessoned.
Thankfully, Angela's blood pressure began to settle down.
Midnight
The granddaughter was diagnosed with an intestinal blockage after being seen by the doctor and having X-rays.
1 a.m.
The baby gets meds and soon appears to be on the road to recovery; Aud's contractions continued to lessen; and Angela was finally okay.
2 a.m. The blockage was taken care of, and all was well.
3 a.m. We checked out of the emergency room and returned home
4 a.m. Everyone went to bed.
6:30 a.m. Our alarms went off – It was time to get ready to take Audra to her 8 a.m. OB appointment.
Angela handled breakfast, and off they went while Brooke and I slept in until 8 a.m.
It’s great to have a T for a spouse! (Yes, Angela has an appointment to see her heart specialist next week!)

Busy waiting - how about you.

No, I haven't been sitting on my backside, but I have been waiting around. Our daughter is 34 weeks into a problematic pregnancy and has been restricted to bed rest. Angela and I have been babysitting our granddaughter, sometimes at our home, and some times at our daughter and son-in-law’s. It’s amazing how busy a 22 month old can be. It’s also amazing how busy she's kept us. Our daughter and granddaughter have come over each Monday evening and returned home on Friday morning when Daniel's parents take over for the day. How do we work out our schedules? We compliment each other by using our strengths - Angela’s a morning person, and I’m a night owl. I do the middle of the night (2 and 4 a.m.) wake ups that usually amount to a few pats on the back, a couple ounces of milk and an occasional diaper change. Angela takes over the early morning wake up call (5:30 or 6 a.m., which is a bit early for her, but she manages just fine). She changes Brooke and gives her breakfast. That allows our daughter and me to sleep in. We both fetch and carry for our daughter and have a ball playing with Brooke. So yep, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a T. On our "off days" we mow the lawn, clean the house, take care of bills and otherwise sleep in. Meanwhile, we wait and stay VERY Busy! - All Day. There'll be a new baby "soon." We just don't know "how soon."

A Grandkid and a T

What a combo those two are! They are always up to something, and there is no telling what it might be. They are both inventive, and most of the time, they are inventing ways to get in my hair. By the time I have one area tidied up, another has been turned into a disaster area. I will say this much, though, when it's all over, Angela is as often as not, the final official tidier-up of the area. I guess I fell like I've been running interference all day, so she gets the final put everything in its place detail. They are particularly good at blocks. I find little stacks of them everywhere. Books too, seem to be in piles here and there. I am noticing that te baby is playing by herself more and more. Angela is always hovering nearby if I'm not in the room. That's a good thing. Now that we have the tree up, it's best to not let her out of sight, even for a minute. We've told her it's like the TV - look but don't touch - but, we know how much temptation is in view. So far, and it's been three days, there has only been one ball removed, and that was because she bumped it. No, there are no icicles this year. Safety first. Anyway, if you have a grandchild, a T is the perfect sitter. You see, she gets to experiece all that girlie growing up through the eyes of the child. It's a joy to watch them both go through all the discoveries as they happen. As it happened, Angela, as David, was off fight a war, so she, as he, also missed much of the growing up of our daughter. Now, she can experience it for the first time. What a treat for me.!

Time

There just isn't enough of it, have you noticed? I mean, how did it get to be 12:04 a.m. when I sat down at this computer at 10:30 "for just a few minutes?" Of course I didn't intend for another day to dawn before I got to my blog, but it has. So much for good intentions, huh? You see, when I retired, getting a blog going was on my To Do list, near the top even. I did get it up and running within a couple of months of retiring, but then life started interrupting: there was the new grandchild, the new RV, planning and planting another qtr. acre of the Japanese Garden, and that nagging thing called the Home Inventory I promised I would finish within the first year. I'm 3/4 through with the Home Inventory, the Japanese Garden is planned out and about 1/2 is planted, we are certainly RVing all over the place, and we are delighting in the new baby, now 9 months old! Time flies. I'm happy the blog is going well, but I'm displeased that time slips away, and I miss my promised "not-less-than-every-other-day" deal with myself (except when we are away, out of touch, of course). Not all RV parks have the Internet, and I don't want to download half my C drive, email, and other projects onto the laptop that is filled with travel stuff. So, Time just gets in the way of getting everything accomplished. Granddaughter watching has to take priority as she grows to where she can better entertain herself for longer periods of time without taking off at a fast clip into a danger zone. RVing has to have a priority as once one has paid for such an item, one must use it. Now that it's spring - gardening has to be at the top of the list. It's amazing that outdoor physical labor, even loved outdoor physical labor - like finishing up an acre one has been working on for 3 years, is capable of completely wearing a person (me) out. So, again, time gets away. When I sit down at the computer, there's email, snail mail to write and ready to send, there's all variety of bills and whatnot to tend to, and friends and committments and - well, you see where the time goes. Pretty soon, it's 12:04 and another day has passed between blogs. I apologize to my readers, and to myself, because I have let me down too, you see. But - it's all Time's fault. It seems to slip through my fingers more often these days. I'll continue to try to do better. I promise. Meanwhile, I can always lean on Angela. She's the best support a person could have - and what a delight that is!

Who said one had time to relax when one retires?

Okay, I'll be back at the computer for a fair while again. Who said one had time to relax when one retires? RVing, gardening and grandparenting have just had to take precedence for a few days - weeks, okay, a couple months. It's amazing how quickly the days pass when one is out enjoying the sites to see while RVing, getting all the spring gardening tasks! We have 2+ acres, so there are trees to trim before they invade each other, a neighbor's yard, or otherwise cause problems. Then there is just preparing the actual garden for planting - and then planting of course. There are new trees to transplant, loads of weeding - of course - in flower beds and yard too. Then, well, THEN comes grandparenting. We once had a BABY girl, NOW, we have a VERY mobile baby girl. We spent nearly a week transplanting bad stuff and otherwise baby proofing. We don't have that big a house, but it's plenty big enough for all the things that have to have latches, door covers, stops, electric plugs, wire and drapery/blind wind-ups - you name it. AND, trust me when I say you can't be out of the room with a kid that is starting to walk and crawling everywhere! She can disappear from one spot and appear in another fast than any magician I've every heard about! She's a big help when it comes to sorting laundry too. Guess what, dog toys are far more attractive than any expensive kid toy she has. She'll go after a bone on the floor long before any of the many toys Parents and other magazines report as top enticers for little minds. She has recently learned how to crawl OUT of things. You know, all those things that were great for sleeping in when she was a BABY! - like her swing, for instance. Not even the tray can keep her in there when she wakes! That'll be in the next garage sale - or put away for the next grandkid. Anyway, don't get me wrong - this is the BEST of stages. Every day is a day for exploring and excitement like never before. There's about 5 years of this, and we look forward to every minute. We also look forward to holding her in our arms as she falls asleep!