Two Billiard Balls

Angela shaved my head this morning. I decided that since we own Bichons because they don't shed, it is pretty silly for me to be dropping hair all over the place (not to mention blocking the shower and sink drains!). It does look a bit strange, but other than that, I'm perfectly happy with my decision. As always, the every-talented Angela accomplished the task quickly. She shaves her own head also, but then, she's had a lot more practice. We'll be two billiard balls when we go to bed without our wigs. Yes, I have my new wig already, so I won't scare anyone to death when I go out in public. This is quite a change for us: Angela, as David, was bald; now it's my turn. She wears her wig all day, but I doubt I will. Time will tell. I don't have to look at my head, where everyone else does. Even the dogs didn't give me any funny looks, so I guess they accept this as just another of "mom's harebrained schemes." Angela has a great sense of humor, on top of her head shaving skills, so I guess that means I now have two Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual to report today. I'm not even counting the fact that she is starting her next project - laying a new floor down the hall. The old carpet is out, and the new hardwood will be installed over the next few days. She's a marvel!

Taking up the slack

I’ve learned more than I care to say about cancer, but the most surprising thing is that it completely takes over your life. Every weekday has at least one appointment for something –doctors, labs, scans, physical therapy and etc. Each week is regulated by where you are in the chemo cycle. Week one, you can do pretty much as you please. Week two: stay away from anyone with a cold because white cells are diminishing by the minute. Week three: by midweek, one regains their freedom as white cells regenerate. Of course, then it is time to do chemo again, and the cycle repeats. This weekend is officially “stay indoors, don’t go anywhere” per my doctor. So, I’m missing a mall play-date with the grandkids, a day of babysitting, an opening of a friend’s art gallery, a play we planned to see, and a Christmas shopping trip scheduled for tomorrow. Dast, oh dear! Dang! So, guess who is taking up the slack – all by herself – Angela of course! We usually do “kid things” together. Sometimes we both are “on duty,” and sometimes one of us leaves to work on a project, go shopping or meet friends for lunch. We relieve each other for breaks, but one of us is always with the kids. Today, it will be an all day affair for her, although our daughter will be there for the play-date and from time to time throughout the day. Angela is an excellent babysitter; she plays with Brooke like a big sister, and she is a champion at changing diapers and walking babies (yes, she was excellent at both as a father too). So, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual: a few hormones add a touch of tenderness and patience that all of us enjoy!

Veteran's Day

Our flag flies at half-staff for those who died at an American Army Base recently, for all those who have died in our two current wars, and for those that have died in all of our wars. It flies at half-staff for those who have died peaceful deaths years after their valiant service to our country, of which my father was one. It flies at half-staff for those who came home from the horrific Vietnam War only to be vilified by fellow Americans. It flies at half-staff for our gay, lesbian, transgender, bi-sexual and intersexed brothers and sisters-in-arm who have died or who are now serving honorably under the deplorable don’t ask, don’t tell directive. It flies at half-staff those same GLBT+ people who have left the service because they spoke out against don’t ask, don’t tell, or who self-identified and were dismissed as if they had no value. It flies at half-staff for all those who have been injured in our wars, and it flies at half-staff for all the family members of those who have served and who currently serve in our armed forces. I am proud of them all, and I’m proud to stand among them. Angela and my father served as career officers in the USAF, both survived their war, and I am very proud of them.

Having Fun

It’s the small things that make marriages work sometimes. Sunday was the first day after my chemo that I actually got outside to “play” with Angela. She makes work fun, even when its hard work. She was chopping off limbs and I was picking them up. That’s not a typical scenario for fun I know, but working with Angela is almost always a happy occasion for us. We did a little fencing with branches. We piled the stack higher and higher like a balancing game before we knew we’d gone too far. I held the gate open and closed like a bullfighter’s cape as she charge through it. Next we attacked the garden, finding end-of-season produce like they were Easter eggs. In the case of the tomatoes, it really was a hunt. The fall/winter veggies are doing fine, so they were easy, but that last eggplant was also a bit of a challenge. See, you can have fun while getting work done, especially if you have a T in the family! So, yep, having fun while working together is another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual.

One Chemo Down

I had my first round of chemo therapy yesterday with no bad effects. All is going well. My appetite is good, I slept well, and while I expect to have some down days in the next few days, I was pleasantly surprised to be feeling fine after this first round.

Angela, of course, has been the chief driver and nurse through all of this, and she's wonderful about it.

Today we were outside a fair amount of time as it was a beautiful day. I harvested produce from the garden - kale (my favorite veggie), green onioins (yum!), cherry tomatoes, radishes, and chives for baked potatoes tomorrow night with the kids. I'll be fixing my last eggplant tonight, and I have a load of beets for veggies through next weeks too. I helped pick up branches after she cut off those that were hanging too low to use the riding lawn mower. That was the first real exercise since my surgery. About all Nurse Nora (Angela) will let me do is the laundry and empty the dishwasher, so helping load up the trailer felt pretty good. She hauled them over to our big dumpster, so I really didn't do much. I don't think it was even enough to be sore in a couple days. after all that activity, Cassandra, my smallest Bichon, and I took a nap together on the patio glider.

It was a fine day.

Happy Halloween to all!

Race for the Cure

After a really terrible experience at Community Hospital's Cath Lab while getting my port put in for my Chemotherapy, I'm happy to report that the next Cancer-related item on my list was a great success. The Susan B. Kommen Race for the Cure was today, and four of us retired Fresno Bee (newspaper) gals joined seven other mutual friends for the one mile walk portion. The team captain recently found out she is pregnant, Donna had her cancer surgery two weeks ago, and I had my port put in two days ago, so we didn't think we should overdo it. The others agreed, and all did the one-mile walk. There were more than 6,000 people who participated in the Race for a Cure, most of which did the actual RACE part. It started at 6:30 a.m. The winner did the 5 miles with a 4.68-minute mile, which was pretty darn good! There were also shorter races, I believe. At any rate, I arrived at 9 in time for the awards. The rest of the group joined me in time to honor the survivors, of which Donna and I were included. There were probably 2,000 women who walked across the stage and took their seats in a show of solidarity that was very moving. We then moved on to the walk, which was easy and quickly done. Paula took a fall and scraped up her arm, but she's fine. Yes, we got it tended to at their first aid station. Angela was signed up to go, and donated her $20, but stayed home to do the lawn. We have to take one of our dogs up to Davis to see the super doctors up there, so she felt the lawn had to come first. Of course, she was super solicitous in helping me get ready and doubly so when I came home. She was concerned I might be overtired. Hardly! But she insisted I take a nap, which I gladly did. She's the responsible one, and it's a good thing, as I ended up sleeping for two hours. Evidently, I was more tired than I thought. Her point: "it has only been two days since your port surgery." I'm glad I have my own private nurse, and that's another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual!

Settled?

Boy, there is just no way to feeling settled with Cancer. The bottom line is that Angela is about the only thing that's normal around here! She's my rock, my primary supporter, and cheerleader. How many Best Things About Married to a Transsexual can I list? Loads (!) - especially since the diagnosis. Having cancer is having one doctor appointment after another with scans and lab tests in between - and I haven't even started the Chemo or Radiation yet. The surgery went great and poor Angela is doing double duty on everything - yard work, housecleaning, and all sorts of just general helpful things. She's a blessing in so many ways. There are so many things one needs to learn, and there are only a few days to absorb it all and make critical decisions. I was expecting radiation after surgery, but not chemo. Now, chemo is in the mix and starting "soon." I had one bad lymph node, and some "suspicious cells" in two more, so we're fast approaching the Port or No Port decision. I was all for just following my doc's advice, and going with whatever she suggested, but after some research, I'm struggling with info overload. I've got a call into her to discuss not having the port done, and asking about at least one of drugs I'm supposed to take. None of the chemotherapy drugs are "nice," to put it mildly. They all have terrible side effects and long-term after effects. So, hang in there with me. I promise to keep after this blog. I just want to say how much I love having Angela around to share my thoughts, worries, and all the joy she brings me.