Saturday, July 18, 2009

What am I?

Angela and I speak to groups often, and when we do, this question always comes up: "Are you lesbians?"

I have a quick answer: "I'm a Straight Lesbian." I say that, not to make light of who and what I am, but to point out that labels seldom tell the whole story. I certainly married "straight." I am a woman who married a man. If I simply said, "Yes, I'm a lesbian," I'd be denying 35 years of marriage to a man. I would also be denying that Angela existed as another person (David) and all that his, and our, life was while Angela was David.

There is no question that we now are Lesbians, at least in the context of "if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck." We each love one another, we are both women, and we make love to one another, so we are "tada!" - Lesbian. Of course, the same things were true for us as man and wife for more than 35 years too. So, perhaps, I'm "Bisexual." Does that mean I'm not Lesbian any more?

Labels are just confusing. Oh, they are great for speaking about groups of people: men who are attracted to men are considered Homosexuals, and women who are attracted to women are considered Lesbian. Both were, or are, considered Queer and/or Gay, mostly depending on the age of the person doing the talking. Things get a little sticky when you try to pin an indiviual down though.

I think I'll stick with Straight Lesbian.

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