Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Who said one had time to relax when one retires?

Okay, I'll be back at the computer for a fair while again. Who said one had time to relax when one retires? RVing, gardening and grandparenting have just had to take precedence for a few days - weeks, okay, a couple months. It's amazing how quickly the days pass when one is out enjoying the sites to see while RVing, getting all the spring gardening tasks! We have 2+ acres, so there are trees to trim before they invade each other, a neighbor's yard, or otherwise cause problems. Then there is just preparing the actual garden for planting - and then planting of course. There are new trees to transplant, loads of weeding - of course - in flower beds and yard too. Then, well, THEN comes grandparenting. We once had a BABY girl, NOW, we have a VERY mobile baby girl. We spent nearly a week transplanting bad stuff and otherwise baby proofing. We don't have that big a house, but it's plenty big enough for all the things that have to have latches, door covers, stops, electric plugs, wire and drapery/blind wind-ups - you name it. AND, trust me when I say you can't be out of the room with a kid that is starting to walk and crawling everywhere! She can disappear from one spot and appear in another fast than any magician I've every heard about! She's a big help when it comes to sorting laundry too. Guess what, dog toys are far more attractive than any expensive kid toy she has. She'll go after a bone on the floor long before any of the many toys Parents and other magazines report as top enticers for little minds. She has recently learned how to crawl OUT of things. You know, all those things that were great for sleeping in when she was a BABY! - like her swing, for instance. Not even the tray can keep her in there when she wakes! That'll be in the next garage sale - or put away for the next grandkid. Anyway, don't get me wrong - this is the BEST of stages. Every day is a day for exploring and excitement like never before. There's about 5 years of this, and we look forward to every minute. We also look forward to holding her in our arms as she falls asleep!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I am not a morning person

Okay, I admit it; I am NOT a morning person. In fact, I'd like them a lot better if they started around 10 a.m. I could accept 9 even. However, now that I am retired (yes, I took an early retirement), I have compromised my standards and arise at 8 give or take twenty minutes. That's a H--- of a lot better than the 6:15 it used to be. You see, I'm a night person. Midnight is a good time to go to bed and read for an hour. Don't you agree? I realize there are morning people too, heck, I'm married to a very dear one. I just don't understand it. Oh, yeah, I know about circadian rhythms intellectually, but when Angela rolls out of bed at 6 a.m., my brain doesn't accept that as normal activity. It's nice, though, when the paper is in, the tea water is hot, the dogs have been fed, and all I have to do is stumble into the kitchen and pry my eyes open enough to pour the hot water over my tea bag. So, I'm not complaining. I'm just stating facts. Perhaps that's just another one of the nice things about being married to an early riser, and the fact that mine is also a T, just makes it all the more special.

SF Chronicle article link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/12/09/CMTUT436A.DTL

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Whew!

It’s a good thing one of us is inventive around here. I mean it would make things so much more difficult, not to mention expensive. Angela is a fix-it/handy-person. More important, she is an inventor. When something doesn’t work well, she can add to it, or change it so it works better. If we need something, and it’s not readily available, she comes up with a Plan B. I’m good at Plan B also, in fact, I often say, if it weren’t for Plan B, I’d have no workable plan at all. But Angela’s Plan Bs have to do with products, not just work arounds. Here’s a for instance: We’ve had a problem on the RV with a small leak at a hose connection for city water for a couple outings. It’s annoying, but not serious. This weekend, she made an adaptor. It’s involved and somewhat complicated, with shut off valves and such. It solved the problem. No more leak, and it also made hooking up and unhooking twice as fast because she also added quick releases. Whew!Additionally, when we sold our 5th Wheel to get the motor coach, we also sold our truck. We live out in the country on a little more than two acres, so we really need a truck for hauling this and that. Angela’s a woodworker too, so we buy a lot of wood. She came up with an add-on to our tow dolly that lets us haul almost anything. Yesterday, we picked up a load of wood with the RV and newly adapted tow dolly. Am I lucky or what? So, here's another of the Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual. She's all woman, but she still knows everything that David knew!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

It's never boring with Angela around

I could fill a blog with day-to-day activities that actually add up to Zero, couldn’t you? You know what I mean, don’t you? All that mundane stuff like making the bed, setting the table, fixing dinner is just plain boring, Boring, and even more BORING. Yet, much of my day goes by that way, until Angela sparkles herself into my awareness. Then things turn more interesting:
It used to be that we could easily read a paper/magazine/book without a comment between us back when She was He. Now, we actually talk about we’ve read.

When she’s working on a project these days, I’m always involved too somehow. That’s pretty amazing, because I don’t know diddly about most of the things in a woodworking shop. Projects were to be done alone back when He was She. Yet now I find myself helping hold wood, watching as she drills holes, and discussing colors on a set of drawers. Who would have thought that would have happened?

Fixing dinner is so much more fun now too. I make a salad while she gets going with all the pots and pans. I get the entrĂ©e cooking while she’s setting the table. Guess what else: We actually talk and share some laughs while all that fixing-of-the-meal happens. When she was he that certainly wasn’t the typical scenario. I was in there doing it all, while he was watching the news.

Ah, what a difference a few hormones make!

There’s always joy around here with Angela around.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I'm not a happy camper right now

I wonder if blogger,com ever checks what folks are asking for in their help stuff. Yeah, I know we are supposed to get help from each other – BUT it hasn’t happened yet. I’ve asked three times for help on getting my astrological sign changed from Gemini to Cancer. My question has appeared on help from at least three others, has if it’s been address, I haven’t seen it. It should just be a line that can be changed – easy and simple. I’ve also been shut out for three days on the invalid email address message, despite following all of Google’s directions, none of which “took” until today. I did nothing different today than I did before. It would seem if something turns up fairly often, and this is one of their top five problems, it should be a pop back answer. So, I’m frustrated with my blogging experience right now.

I’m wondering if the reason I haven’t received an answer is that folks are afraid to look at my blog because it touches on an unusual subject. I’m married, and I have been for 41 years, to the same person. However that man became a woman in 2002. “Horrors!” you say? Would you say the same if I’d said he’d had a heart attack and couldn’t perform as a male anymore? It’s the same person. I love that person. Yeah, we’ve had some adjusting to do, but guess what – life is MUCH better than when I was living with a person who was not happy with who they were. Why wouldn’t everyone want our marriage to survive? Why couldn’t everyone be happy for us? It’s too bad the folks that pick and choose what they want to believe in the bible can’t seem to figure out that they are going to face their god, and mine, someday. I’m glad I’m happy with my GLBT friends and as forgiving of them as I am of all my straight friends. One of my friends believes that God is going to turn out to be whatever it is you’ve most vilified. You hate a particular race? When you get up there, God’s going to be that race. Uh Oh! You hate gays? Guess what. Uh Oh again! I rather hope it happens that way. What am I now? A straight lesbian, I guess. Aren’t labels fun? We could have a whole conversation just on how poorly labels work.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Guilt is another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual

I'm inside, working on articles I've kept on a variety of subjects - right now, writing, but there are more subjects ahead - medical, household hints, travel, websites to visit - you name it there's a little file on almost any given subject. So, I'm indexing them andputting them in a folder. But, Angela is outside working in the yard. Every fifteen minutes or so she goes by my window with the lawn tractor filled with discards from the garage, hedge clippings, limbs she's picked up after the last wind, rain, or someone running over a corner of the yard leaving debris strewn everywhere. You see we're on a corner lot in the country, so folks take short cuts and usually leave some form of calling card besides their tire tracks: They will dump their trash or throw miscellaneous garbage out a window - you get the point. Anyway, I am feeling very guilty sitting here in the nice warm house, all-comfy, while she's out there working her behindness off. I have three trees to plant, my compost to dump, mix in and water, bird feeders to fill and a flowerbed that needs attention. So, the Guilts have me. Given that, I will soon be outside working on my things or helping her. Don't you hate it when your spouse is out there doing the right thing, and you're inside doing something less necessary or productive? So, I'm out of here - damn!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

We're a couple, and that's another of the Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual

We're a couple, and that's a good thing. It 's also quite special, all the more so because we are a tad different than most married folks. We're a good couple because we chose to be. We could have easily broken the marriage over a variety of things, but the most apparent reason would have been Angela's transition. She could have chosen to start a whole new life along with her new persona, but she did not. I could have said her transition would make too big of a change for me, and I could have chosen to leave the marriage, but I did not. It's obvious to both of us that, for us, we made the right choices. Our marriage is happier and stronger, and we are joyous in our commitment to one another.

We're also a good couple because of the friends we've made along the way. The caring and support we've received from our local friends are well beyond what one might expect, and they are valued and loved beyond measure. Then there are other T couples we've met along our way such as D and E. They were the first married couple to allow us into their lives and their home. D has since passed away, but we visited with E this last weekend. She remains a treasure to us. Her memories of D and their time together are as strong as ever, and she remains committed and active in the T world within her community. In fact, she's active within the whole local GLBT world. We’ve also met other T couples that have stayed married, and we drawn strength from their endearing and enduring love for one another.