Sunday, August 31, 2008

Transition isn't easy for everyone..

There are lots of ways to transition. It's harder for those who have family that aren't understanding, and that is the case for about 90+% of the Ts we know. But then - we did things a little differently than most. First off, we went slowly; we followed the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. We had a good councilor who was a GLBT+ specialist. She helped with understanding everything that was going on, and took the lead with the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. Secondly, we brought the family along gently with no big arguments. Instead, we told them what was going on, let them ask questions, provided back up material and were very understanding of their discomfort. We had to be prepared to accept the fact that not everyone was going to agree with what was going on, and that we might lose that friend or family member. That didn't mean we would stop loving them, but if they chose to disassociate themselves from us, well, that was their choice. We were fortunate in that our families stayed with us (save one of Angela's sisters, and a sister-in-law). We don't see them; their choice. We sought out support organizations, and we formed our own. We started with nationally known organizations, and they were a big help. PFLAG, Society for the Second Self (Tri-S), and Transgender groups. We did our research before we went to family. We watched and taped documentaries when they were on TV. We read everything we could find about transitions. We got good doctors to prescribe Angela's hormones, we went to a nationally known T surgeon for Angela's SRS, we checked and double checked everything. We found that for most of the Ts that had a hard time things got easier for most of them when they got involved with support groups, started following the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, and when they slowed down and quit trying to insist everyone join their cause immediately.

1 comment:

lilly said...


I just stummbled on your blog recently, and i want to say thank you. You inspire me. I am going through this with my husband, and we are remaining in the marriage. Thank you so much for this blog. Is there a way to speak to you through email?? Thanks