Making our own sunshine with a tow dolly

It has been foggy and overcast for days now, but I always see sunshine when Angela and I are working on a project together. Angela is always fixing, inventing, or making something, because she's the one who has the talent. She can repair anything, and if we need something we can't find in the retail world, she'll come up with a new object to fit the need. Here's a small example: we sold our truck when we bought the RV coach, so we no longer had any way to haul large objects. So, she invented a way to convert our tow dolly into a flatbed carry all. It took some time to design and build, and it is a large, heavy object to carry. But, with it attached, we can now go to the lumber store and bring home almost any sized load.

Yesterday was another dull, grey day outside, but she was out there fixing the lights on the tow dolly. My job was just to hold things in place, pass her tools, and tell her how wonderful her work was. I found that even though it was cold and generally unfriendly outside, we made our own sunshine with our laughter at getting into awkward positions, curses at problems, and perseverance when something didn't work at first.

Yes, this is just another example of the Best Things About Married to a Transsexual. I'm very glad she's mine.

I'm ready for a BIG step too!

Some of my readers have taken me to task about saying the repeal of DADT is a small step forward. I continue to feel any step forward is a plus. I realize that Ts were not included in the legislation, although that could easily be tested by a few brave souls. Transsexuals are NOT being included in most legislative initiatives along with gays and lesbians, except in hindsight. Unfortunately, we don't have the lobbyist the G and L forces have, and the G and L forces don't often think to add the T to their lobbying efforts. The reality is that we in the T community need to be as visible as the G and L portion. Too many of our group are stealth/closeted. Many of us don't donate to those groups that are fighting for us. Many in the family don't vote. I can't make things change with a single blog, but Angela and I are visible and we vote at every election. We appeared in a Discovery Channel documentary called Changing Sexes: Male to Female. We lecture about Ts, and our marriage, at universities, colleges, & social service organizations. We round up panels for discussion groups, and we are active in our local GLBT+ community. We don't hide, and we try to help where and when we can. All I can suggest to move the T community forward is for more of us to be visible, to vote, and to make our lives known.

Small Steps Toward Freedom from Fear

There were protests, and then people knew that those in the GLBT+ spectrum would no longer be ignored. Openly "out" parades began, and straight people enjoyed watching, and some even supported them. Supportive organizations began, like PFLAG (and others), and they saw their membership grow. Lobbyist appeared at legislative offices, and bills began to be introduced. Domestic Partnerships were allowed here and there, and states didn't crumble and churches didn't die. In fact, many churches found new members to increase their fold. Welcoming those in the GLBT+ family showed love and acceptance was a better way to follow one's choice of God. Marriages began to happen, and Love spread. Don't Ask / Don't Tell fell, and patriotic men and women will now serve openly.

Freedom for those in our GLBT+ family is coming. We'll soon be equal to the rest of you. That's a tremendous gift to the young people in our community. It shows them that if they can hang on until they are adults, they may be able to lead a normal life.

I'd like to be able to show "our" youth that they can be accepted even while they are still youngsters, pre-teen, teens, and young adults. I'd like to see the bullying, name calling, and hatred stop. Wouldn't you?

She's just a social butterfly!

Ah, yes, there was a time when I was considered the social one in the marriage. David, now Angela, was not anti-social, exactly, he just didn't participate in conversations much. He always sat just outside of the circle, usually with his arms crossed. He answered with "Yes" or "No," and that was his version of participating in the conversation. Now, since the transition, her elbows are on the table, she's scooted right into the circle, and no talking can go on without her input. She's introducing herself to people all the time. She's suggesting fun things to do, and she is the Hostess With The Mostess when we have guests. She's a good cook too and an even better housekeeper. I guess I'll have to hand over my social butterfly wand and let her take over! Yes, here's another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual!

It's just a little switch

I was dusting today. Simple, huh? Welllllll, let me say that doing so resulted in a mornings worth of work. You see, while doing my house cleaning, I dusted over a light switch and turned it to the OFF position without noticing that I had done so. Horrors! Dast, oh dear! Damn!

This particular switch controls the electricity to all the lights and plugs in the living room, dining area, kitchen, utility room and smallest bathroom. When none of these rooms would light up for me to continue my cleaning, I called for Angela, our Miss Fix-it around here. The rest of the morning was dedicated to testing switches, throwing fuses, running down electric cords and all other sorts of electrician-type stuff that I don't understand. All to no avail, I might add.

When every test had failed, and while we contemplated the need to call a professional out on a Saturday, we both took a break. Angela happened to pass by the switch. She stopped dead and called me, "Oh, Jonni . . . Could you come here a moment?" When I saw her standing there, I immediately realized what must of happened. Too bad neither of us thought to check there first.

She switched it to on, and "Voila! Let there be light!" she said. She is a miracle worker, isn't she? I helped put everything away and quietly slunk off to my computer.

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER

There is a musical, I DO, I DO, that is based on the play, THE FOUR POSTER. It predominately takes place around a four poster bed as a couple ages. Many of the tunes are catchy and fun. One is where the newlyweds speak of watching their sleeping spouse, and how fortunately they are to have one another. I've been having one of those weeks when I really appreciate everything about Angela. No, it's not about the talents she exhibits in fixing things, or the fun we have because of her transition, or even about her personality. It's the little intangible things like how she blows bubbles with her lips (sans spit/more like a quiet raspberry) as she sleeps; how she breaths deeply when she's concentrating on something (our daughter does the same); how she snuggles up at night, and how she rushes about on various projects. It's the little touches, or smooches, when we pass; and it's how she must have lipstick on to walk out of the house, not to mention adding earrings to coordinate with every outfit. It's how she cares for the doggies - and me - when I'm distracted or worried about some fool thing. In short, it's just about Angela being Angela that makes me realize how much My Cup Runneth Over.

Bullies, Terry Pratchett and YOU

If you haven't read Terry Pratchett, you've missed some delightful reading. Not only is his humor top notch, but his views have a lot to say about people in Real Life. I just finished I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT, and he has a good bit to say about those who prejudice others. The book is about a young witch who has a Cunning Man turning people against her and other witches. Being part of the GLBT+ community, his comments certainly strike home, especially given the numerous suicides and other situations those in our community face due to how people view us. Prejudice is an ugly thing, and when it leads to bullying and worse, young people die. I'd like to have our government and religious leaders think of the consequences before they speak out against the GLBT+ community.

Here's what Tiffany Aching has to say to the Cunning Man:
Your power is only rumor and lies . . . You bore your way into people when they are uncertain and weak and worried and frightened, and they think their enemy is other people when their enemy is, and always will be, you-the master of lies.

Don't make a space for those, who like the Cunning Man, would turn you against your fellow man. Think for yourself and understand that what some folks say are not in your best interest or our country's. I suspect most folks don't give a fig about what their neighbor's do in their own bedrooms. So why is everyone worried about what those in the GLBT+ community do? If you want government out of your home, support others who want it out of theirs. Equal Rights mean Equal, not separate or different. If you love, you should allow others to do so as well. Remember, love is welcoming and accepting of our differences.

I believe God is going to be what you most hate, so when you reach Him, he may well be a member of the GLBT+ community. Don't be a bully who throws stones or derogitory, belittling words, instead be one who welcomes our differences and diversity.