Ah, how nice it is to have a gardener.

The temperature reads 107 outside, and the grass is waving in the breeze. It needs cutting. Usually, that means we will dampen our clothes enough to be outside and remain comfortable while we do the job. Today, though, we have a gardener. What bliss. I'm not riding the lawnmower, and Angela isn't doing the edging. I'm not picking up twigs, and Angela isn't trimming the hedge. The broken tree limb is not calling us to care for it immediately. We have a gardener. Angela and I are free to read, write, nap or play with the dogs. Are we? No, we're watching the gardener. Will he do as good a job as we do? Will he be faster than we usually are? Probably. Yes, in fact, when all is said and done. He, after all, has the fancy equipment we don't own. He also does the job for a living and has figured out all the little tricks of the trade. So, by watching, we hope to do better when we are doing it again in a few weeks. We also hired a professional tree trimming service. Guess what, not a single person fell out of a tree or off a ladder. You know, this could become a habit. Now, all we have to do is get a summer job to pay for our professional lawn care. Maybe we could hire out as gardeners.

Busy, Busy, Busy

Who ever said retirement was relaxing? Forget that. So far today, I have trimmed a small tree (taller than me though), and helped Angela mend a fence that lines our property. It's only ninety degrees outside. That's almost cool weather in Fresno for the summer months. We have nice neighbors for the most part, but one of them owns a business he runs from his home that is illegal. He runs big trucks and heavy equipment into his back yard along our property line, and they often knock down parts of the fence. The whole neighborhood is up in arms about his business and trucks, but so far he hasn't budged on moving the business. He will replace a fence post now and then if we insist on it, but generally, it falls to us to maintain it. Can you tell we aren't happy about this? Yes, the county is aware. They fine him every few months and threaten him regularly. None of that is doing much good thus far. I personally think that he believes our complaints will eventually fall on deaf ears as we're just a couple of "those" women. Just being women is a strike against us, of course. Ah well, we carry on. The good news is that we can share a few laughs about having to watch getting sunburns on our bald heads together even though we wear hats. We both lather up with sun lotion, but there is always a few spots that seem to get pretty red from time to time. We share our broken fingernail stories and help put on occasional band aids too. It is nice that we share the house and yard work. In fact, we actually enjoy most of it. Oh yes,we share bathroom and kitchen duties too. you'll have to wait for those stories.

Active Again

Okay, I admit to being a slacker in the blogging arena. I think, though, that it was more of a vacation. I was doing all that Cancer stuff, and it took over my life in a way I had not anticipated. I gio through it without many problems, but blogging took a backseat. I missed doing it, of course, but putting words down correctly didn't always happen. Call it what you will: chemo brain, or just laziness. I'll agree with you generally. I'm on a chemo pill now, but the brain seems to be working, and I want to be involved in blogging again. So, here I am putting words in this little box again.

Since this is supposed to be about being married to a Transsexual, trust me when I say that Angela was a rock through all of this - in the best way (not as poundage such as her being a heavy weight to carry around). She provided wonderful nursing when needed and even better support all the time. She, along with several good friends, made the passage much easier than I expected. Trust me when I say that not all spouses are a help. So, yes, this is another great thing about being married to a T!

My Bad

Okay, I've been away from this blog way too long. Can I claim Chemo Brain? How about Radiation Burn? No, alright, I guess I'll just have to take personal responsibility. It is my fault, no question about it. The good news is that all of the chemo and radiation are now behind me. I'll start The Pill on Monday I already had the hard stuff variety of that in my Chemo mix, I'm sure it'll just be a take-one-in-the-morning-and-forget-about-it scenario. So, I have no more excuses, and I'll just have to keep up with the blog from now on.

Angela is the main topic of this blog, and so I report that she hasn't been idle. She's been keeping me in line and taking care of my complaints, of course. She's also put in a tile bathroom floor, built a swing set, put together loads of holiday toys, and is now finishing up on a large 8'x8' playhouse for the girls. No, she didn't fall off a ladder, but she did manage to smash one finger, the drill into her two thumbs with her electric screwdriver. See, I can say/write that with a straight face even. She's my T, that's for sure. The good news is that I was handy with the bandages. I always love working on a project with her because she keeps me smiling.

Hormones!

Hormones are a blessing and a curse. I’ve had it with hot flashes, to put it mildly, and I think it only fair that sometime in her life Angela should be blessed with the same situation, don’t you? Here’s the deal: Way back when, in 1998, when she started on hormones, she got massive doses: 5 full milligrams to my HRT dose of .325 milligrams. That forced teenage puberty. I’ve already written about the joys of having a 57-year-old husband going through the 13-year-old-girl stage. Most of it was fun and funny; I mean how many women get to tell their husband, “go back in there and take off half of that make-up, put on a longer skirt and lower heels?” I also got to give “sage” advice about make-up, perfume (oh lordy, that’s ANOTHER story!), color and hair. It wasn’t long until she became a teenage, and, of course, then she knew everything there was to know, and ‘who the heck was I to be giving advice?’ Ah well. So, back to hormones: since they found the cancer, I have had to be off hormones – completely. That means I'm having Hot Flashes - AGAIN.

When Angela had her surgery, at least for those first couple of weeks afterward anyway, she had to wear a pad. I suppose you could consider that a short-version of a couple ministration cycles. That was it; ho-hum right? That’s okay; but this hot flashes/flushes business is just not fair if you ask me. I figure if I have to have them, so should she, at least sometime in her life, even if it is when she’s eighty.

Better

She's back! My happy wifey is back. Maybe it was "Menopausal." Who knows? Who cares. We girls are allowed to be emotionally volatile, right? Angela included.

We'll be loading up the RV for a trip with RVing Women this weekend. We'll be staying at an RV resort just south of Redding, CA. This is a fun group of women who are accepting of everyone, and how I wish there were more of these type of folks around! We always enjoy ourselves with them, and rain or not, we know we'll have a good time, even though it's a long drive for only a two night stay.

We've had Brooke here for a couple of days, and due to my medical schedule, Angela has had to be primary caregiver when Brooke is here. She's a great babysitter, in addition to being the perfect grandmother. She's the consummate playmate for a 2+ year old, that's for sure.

She keeps me on the straight and narrow, always making sure that my humidifier is going when I come to bed. She makes sure I take a nap every afternoon. She won't let me lift or move things heavier than I'm "allowed," and she's always available for a tension back rub or a rubdown for lymphodemia. Now, those last two are huge in the Helpful Dept, let me tell you.

She's my biggest booster, and the softest soft shoulder, even when I don't think I need one. She's always there to take on that one-more-job I either used to do, or should be doing when I'm taking a nap or at the doctor instead. She never complains, she just does it. You know what? She the long suffering wife, without the suffering. She always makes me laugh, either at her, the situation, or myself. Even when she's blue herself.

What more could I want? Yes, she's the Best. So, yep, all this is just another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual. Don't you wish you had one?

Blue Funk continues

Yep, she's all woman. I'd say she's menopausal, but I don't think that counts under the circumstances

I gave her a nice card and offered to make a day of shopping and going out to a nice dinner. “I don’t want to,” was her reply. Yesterday, I dragged her through a store between doctor appointments, and she lackadaisically only touched a couple of outfits. Even shoes, her number one priority for years, didn’t get her interested. Instead, she complained “wearing those high, high heels that I love caused my bunion, and now I can’t even wear regular high heels for long.” I felt the “boo-hoo,” even if I didn’t hear it.

So, no, we didn’t go out either. We do have a dinner guest joining us this week, and one next week. She can dress up for both of them. So, I’m counting on at least one of them to perk her up. I’m hoping that having a few days of sunshine will help too (forecast for next week).
Keep your fingers crossed.