University of California at Hayward

What a delightful time we had at UC Hayward yesterday. The drive from Fresno to Hayward was beautiful, but windy. We had only one hitch - an accident in Merced closed the freeway for an hour. We used to live in Merced, so we knew a quick side route and managed to only be delayed 1/2 and hour. Good thing we always leave a tad of slack in our drive time hmmm?! So, we arrived at our appointed hour and met Prof. Maria Nieto in her office. We quickly headed for her lecture/classroom after a bit of paperwork and a short chat. Nearly 100 students filled the room to overflow when we began our talk. We always try to engage the students with a bit of fun, banter between us, and them, and questions. This class was most responsive and asked good questions and answered ours quickly, willingly and frankly. We always have a good time when we speak, and having a class like this one makes it even more fun. Obviously, we hope we keep their attention, address issues and impart knowledge and understanding. We find that if folks have some experience with someone in the GLBT+ community, they are less fearful of all of us. Believe it or not, that's usually all it takes to turn us into real people instead of those fearful unknown, otherwise scary folks. We hope, of course, that our stable, long term (nearly 42 years!) marriage proves that we in the community do, in fact, have long-term relationships/marriages. In fact, we are going to a rainbow RV gathering this weekend. When they have a dinner, they celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and other special events in their members' lives. Without fail, there are always MANY with long-term relationships. Several of our friends also have children, some because they were born to one of the partner/spouses, and others that have been adopted. All of these children are thriving, normal, and healthy children. You might gather that I'm in favor of allowing gays to marry. You're right. That brings us the question: are we gay. I'll leave that answer to you; you see, we married straight; we're still married to the same person. We certainly appear to now be a lesbian couple, but we don't quite fit that mold do we? This might be a good time to think about labels and how they often don't quite fit individuals, even though they may be okay when speaking in group terms. Alright, I'll get off my podium.

Thank you, Prof Nieto and everyone in your class, for a delightful time. Ask us back! Tell your friends and other teachers. We love to speak at forums and classes. Let us hear from you! See, being married to a T gives me (and Angela) an opportunity to meet new folks each time we speak. So, that's another Best Thing about Being Married to a T!