Monday, June 16, 2008

Part 3 re Your spouse's transition

You're going to have a teenager on your hands! I don't care which way they are going - MTF or FTM - they are going to go through puberty. This is a bit trying, but, it is also a lot of fun. You T will try out all sorts of clothing styles andf abrics - some will be outlandish, some too old for them, and sometimes (more often than not at first) their clothes will be too young for them! Remember - they didn't get to try all those teenybopper "fun Clothes." They'll also experiment with make-up. It'll be too heavy (including perfume), and it'll be the wrong shade sometimes, and they'll get frustrated with it. It'll almost always be overdone at first. Let them mimic you; you've been out of that stage long enough to know what is appropriate, and your T will look to you for guidance. Just remember, they are going through a teenage-emotional time, so they will be overly sensitive to praise and criticism! You may get some back-talk, and you'll probably feel like a parent rather than a spouse. That's okay. I felt like I was protecting Angela for a while, but as with all "children," you have to let them go and do their own thing. My initial concern was the too much phase when make-up was too heavy, hair too long, skirts too short, and heels too high. If you T is FTM, they may overdo exercise (to pump up their muscles), or they may want more facial hair than you care to tolerate. Angela's teen stage didn't last too long, and there were only a few instances where I had to say, "Go back and take off half the perfume or make-up, or change your skirt to something closer to knee length, if you want me to go out with you. It is an exciting time for them. Let them enjoy it. Laugh with them, not at them, and share the joy!

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