Oh Brother

Let me tell you that I was SORE. I was sore ALL OVER in fact. Worse, I was in that state for several days. Why? We decided to put down a new floor.

In my earlier post I noted that Angela recently had rotor cuff surgery. This all happened a few weeks before that.

Angela's arm was beginning to give her some pain, but you already know that she can't be without a project for long, and I greatly appreciate that fact. So, since we'd been talking about replacing our aging linoleum floor for months, we decided to go ahead.

First, one must take up the old before putting down our new tile. I won't even go into the joy of trying to find that bit of ceramic bliss. Trust me when I say the choices for anything with any hint of gray in it was quite limited. Anyway, cutting through the layer of linoleum was easy, lifting it off the floor was less so, but still no strain for either of us. Then came the reason for my sore arms, body, and psyche: taking up the glue.
Lots of adhesive remained on the floor. Angela quickly discovered scraping away at it was too painful. Oh yes, we spent money on miracle removers, all guaranteed to turn the glue into liquid. Don't believe the hype. They all fall into the category of Buyer Beware. Save your money and just put down copious amounts of water, let it soak, and develope some muscle as you scrape away the gunk. Even so, Angela just couldn't do it. I quickly volunteered and made her go work on "something else." I had no idea four days of scraping that impossibly difficult to remove stuff from our cement foundation would leave me hardly able to lift my arms, much less anything else. Arnold the Swartz would have been sore; Hercules would have been sore; and I was beyond sore. Angela was most complimentary, or course, but I saw the twinkle in her eyes and the quiet chuckle that followed her "nice job, atta girl, and nice bicepts."

When I finished, she patiently set about cutting and laying the tile. It was my turn to say the same phrases along with the twinkle and chuckle. The tile wasn't so heavy that it hurt her arm, but she did have to get into a few awkward positions, so she had her share of Ouch moments.

Now we sit back and enjoy the new look of our pantry, laundry room, and third bathroom. A little shared pain never hurt any marriage.

It's just a little switch

I was dusting today. Simple, huh? Welllllll, let me say that doing so resulted in a mornings worth of work. You see, while doing my house cleaning, I dusted over a light switch and turned it to the OFF position without noticing that I had done so. Horrors! Dast, oh dear! Damn!

This particular switch controls the electricity to all the lights and plugs in the living room, dining area, kitchen, utility room and smallest bathroom. When none of these rooms would light up for me to continue my cleaning, I called for Angela, our Miss Fix-it around here. The rest of the morning was dedicated to testing switches, throwing fuses, running down electric cords and all other sorts of electrician-type stuff that I don't understand. All to no avail, I might add.

When every test had failed, and while we contemplated the need to call a professional out on a Saturday, we both took a break. Angela happened to pass by the switch. She stopped dead and called me, "Oh, Jonni . . . Could you come here a moment?" When I saw her standing there, I immediately realized what must of happened. Too bad neither of us thought to check there first.

She switched it to on, and "Voila! Let there be light!" she said. She is a miracle worker, isn't she? I helped put everything away and quietly slunk off to my computer.

Eyelashes

My apologies to any and all followers, I've been remiss in keeping this up of late. It won't happen again. This blog is about how great it is to be married to a Transsexual, and I can only say that nothing tops that being the case in my book. Angela has been my staunchest supporter through the bumps cancer has caused, and my inward focus this last month plus, has only proved, again, what a dear she is. She always knows what to say, and when to say it, especially when there is a need for something funny. Last night, we took our daughter to dinner, and while getting ready I got frustrated at putting on makeup because most of my bottom eyelashes are now gone. She simply said, "That's not why I married you, and it's not why everyone loves you, so stop worrying." It was a simple statement, but it took me out of myself and put the focus back where it belonged - on our daughter and her night out without kids." She's there with something cold when I have a hot flash, or with a crayon when I'm bitching about drawing on my thinning eyebrows. She's there with a hug when I need one, or even when I don't. She's not insulted when I suddenly stop snuggling and throw off all the covers, or change clothes three times, or whatever. Remember, now, Ts are "into" make-up and looking good. Even so, she always makes me feel like I look like a star. Hmmmm, maybe if I start wearing sunglasses, no one will notice the missing eyelashes.

Goofy Little Things

If it's little thing that count, then it's the goofy ones that give us glimpses of a deeper love shared by two people. It’s just a touch or a smile sometimes, or perhaps it’s a special inside joke or action that warms our heart: While Angela and I were on our honeymoon we saw an older couple walking together slowly. The wife clung, with one hand, to her husband’s bicep like it was a lifeline. He reached across her - with the same arm - to hold her other hand. That is how they strolled around Niagara Falls. Occassionally, one or the other of us will grab the other's bicept and walk along a sidewalk. We may look strange to others, but we're sharing a fond memory.

Chitty, Chitty Bang, Bang is a movie we've always enjoyed. Not far into the movie, Grandpa “helps” push a car by placing a single finger on his grandson’s back. We chuckle over this scene often. Now, in fact, we find ourselves imitating them just-for-fun. Doing so brings back fond memories and links our present to pleasant events in our lives.

The joys of being married to a T

Being married to a T is just plan fun. There are so many joyous moments in day-to-day things these days. We share the kitchen, the yard work and even the shop. Yeah, I still do a lot of holding and passing tools, or helping to hold up wood (Angela's into woodworking - rocking horses, toy boxes, shelving, and such), but now we have so much more FUN. There used to be criticisms, now there is laughter. There used to be expletives (not deleted), now there are lots more please and thank-yous from both of us. Most of all though are all the shared little things. As a guy, David could manhandle a large piece of wood into place, now we carry it together. As a guy, Angela did most of the yard work, now we each do our share, more often than not, working in an area together (we have 2+acres in landscaping). She trims the hedge while I rake up the leaves. She cuts off a limb, I cut off the branches, we load up the dumpster together. It used to be just me with the housework, now Angela will do the sweeping as I do the dusting. We each take a bathroom. We kiss in the hall when we pass each other - and how many folks that have married 42+ years still do that?! There are more hugs, there are more kisses, and there's a lot more touching going on. Yes, there are a whole lot of joys when one is married to a T.

RVing with the T Spouse

One of the Best Things about being married to a T is that they know all the things a guy knows, and they're learning all he things a gal knows. So, when you are in a tech seminar together at a huge RV gathering (Escapees RV Club 48th Escapade & 30th Birthday bash in Gillette, Wyo), she has no qualms about asking tough questions, correcting instructors, or answering for them when they get hung up! That is NOT the case when it comes to Keynote Speakers. In fact, my T got all teary eyed -just like me - when the speaker gets to all the warm and fuzzy stuff! Last night we had an excellent speaker talking about such things as finding the kid in ourselves again, letting go of our worries over things we can't control, and being as enthusiastic as children are. One of the things we did was the typical "say hello to two people you haven't met." That was just fine, as it always is. Then there was a major change: "Now greet two new people as if they were long lost friends." Wow! What a difference in enthusiasm, in smiles, hugs and backpatting. I think both of us will try to remember to greet more folks like that for now on. How about laughing? Kids, 4-5 years old, laugh approximately 400 times a day! Adults laugh about 7. Isn't that a shame? Let's change that! Laugh more often, worry less, greet everyone like they were long lost friends. Share more of yourself, and stop being embarrassed about little things noone will remember anyway.