They Touched My Heart - A Birthday/Anniversary to Remember

Angela and Audra threw me a surprise birthday on Saturday. Oh, yes, I had an inkling something was afoot, but I wasn't sure when, what, or where much less that it was to be a surprise party. They'd arranged for friends to take me off to see art galleries in a nearby town. One even convinced me she had a dinner party to go to later, so I was sure nothing was going on that day. Cars were parked well away from our home, so I had no suspisions until I opened the door. I confess to being totally surprised to see so many good friends inside.

My feet hadn't crossed the threshold before Angela presented me with a full-sized, blown-up version of a walker, complete with many well-known saying about the aged. Before I could move into the room, I had to first maneuver through a trail of orange cones - to prove I could get along with my new contraption. The livingroom was decorated in my favorite sea-green. I was quickly turned around to view the dining room table, very modern, of course, to see not a birthday cake, but a perfect replication of our wedding cake! Angela had had it made to specs, thanks to pictures from our album, and yes, it cost her a small fortune (but it was soooo yummy). There were three layers instead of four - lemon, chocolate, and spice. They were all good, but the spice was wonderful, to die for, and the flavors matched our original. Only the white cake layer was missing, but from the way folks chowed down on what was there, the one exception wasn't missed. You see, our 45th wedding anniversary is a month away, and Angela decided to combine wedding and birthday. They also served a delicious meal.

Audra, not to be out done, had compiled a video using pictures from our various family albums following me from birth to grandma. It was great fun to see all the old pictures, not to mention noting how thin I used to be. There were lots of questions and comments of course and a few laughs as well. Everyone oh'd and ah'd over the wedding pictures and the sailboat we lived and traveled on for two years.

The grandchildren and doggies were well mannered and adorable. Brooke, the four year old spoke with the adults using all her three and four syllable words, and the two year old Bree entertained everyone with her delightful smile and descriptions of how she helped put up the decorations. As for the doggies, there wasn't a bark or growl, an underfoot toy, or a anything beyond lots of tailwagging and puppy kisses.

When I stood to give my little speech, there wasn't a person in the room that I didn't have a short story about. All mean a great deal to me, and they had given special parts of themselves and helped me along the way over the years. All of them had welcomed Angela into their lives without hesitation.

Angela and Audra had pulled off their first surprise party and touched my heart in ways they can't imagine. Angela's loving thoughtfulness about the cake, and Audra's time and effort producing the powerpoint life review were remarkable. They touched my heart.

Up and Over

This was a I'm Glad It Wasn't Me day.You see, we were busy loading up the RV when Angela put the tow dolly on the back of the coach. Every thing was going just fine until she decided to load-up the car without ole vigillant eyes, me. Oh, she's put the car on alaone before, and she's even winched up smashed up race cars into place. I knew this was nothing particularly new. But, since we've had this rig, I'm usually out there giving the Left - Right - Move-up and Stop signals. Not this time, though. So, you can guess what happened. She went right up, over, and off without stopping. She came into the coach with a rather sheepish grin and said, "I, uhm, need your help outside."

That was putting it mildly. When I got outside, I couldn't stop laughing. There was my car (of course) straddling the tow dolly. The front wheels were not quite on the ground because the automobile was resting on its frame. "Now what do we do?" I asked.

"Well, the first thing we are going to try is to jack up."

"Uhm-huh," I said doubtfully. "Even once it's up, you have to get the wheels in place. So, we're going to be using lumber to make a ramp, right." She nodded, and we proceeded to raise the car, place lots of 4x4s and 2x4s beneath the wheels followed by a long piece so she could drive back into place. Naturally, we didn't have exactly matching piles of wood, but we managed.

I held my breath as she took her seat and grabbed the wheel. The engine started and ever so slowly, she backed squarely into the sweet spot. I motioned STOP, and it was done. We both let out a looong breath.

"Boy, it was a good thing you weren't driving when this happened," she said as she climbed out of the car.

"Me too," I said, laughed, and then gave her a kiss. "But I get to tell everyone."

A Crappy Weekend

Okay, I confess that it wasn't all crappy, but . . .

You see, it all started durring a lovely RV outing. We had a wonderful time with everyone in our delightful RVing Women's group. The food, conversations, and doggies and kitties were great, but Saturday was very wet. I love my dogs, but neither wet fur and muddy feet, nor removing stickers are high on my Fun Monitor. After a riotious Trailer Trash dinner with the group, we returned to our coach to prepare for a quiet, dry, peaceful night. Angela went out to dump the tanks while I took the puppies for a walk. When I returned, Angela was still outside. I opened a window and asked, "Need help?"

"Nope," came the reply. Ten minutes later, however, she said, "Okay, I need you outside."

That did not bode well. First of all, it was raining madly, and it was 11:30, well passed Angela's bedtime.

"It seems the RV park's sewer hook up for our rig is backed-up or blocked," Angela said. "The rain could be the cause, but if that was so, the whole park would be in trouble. So, that means we're stuck with the problem. Of course, the office is closed too."

She didn't have to tell me that meant we really had a problem. What were we going to do with a sewage hose full of well, sewage? The good news was that the park link in the spot next to us was working. But, it was 40 feet away. Fortunately, we carry extra sewage hose for this sort of problem. Unfortuately, we usually know about the issue before we are hooked up for two days and can make the alterations before any thing fills the hose.

I could see by Angela's bussling around, getting out hoses, and thoughtful expression that it was going to be me holding our 'difficulty" for this switcheroo. I had visions of spending all day Sunday cleaning up a huge, smelly, yucky mess, even though it was not technically our fault.

With a great deal of care, Angela removed the sewage line from our rig and with much trepidation coaxed a bit more sewage into the park's input, unhooked it, and dripped more yuck into the near overflowing gap. Then, with a towel wrapped around it, just for me, she handed me that end too. Now, a 20' long 3" diameter hose filled with gunk is heavy, and rain was rapidly dropping into the upturned ends - splash, splash, splash - as I stood there with my hands full and my nose turned away.

She gingerly put extensions on each connection, hooked up to the rig, and then we inched our way over toward the new hole. She connected it slowly, but nothing happened! Dang. Okay, worse than Dang. You see, the new receptical was ever so slightly uphill. We have an 8 foot declining contraption to help with that, BUT, we now had 60 feet of hose slanting the wrong direction. It was not going to drain.

After the cloud of blue words dissipated, we got down to pulling lumber out of the rig's storage areas, looking for rocks, sticks and anything else we could use to overcome the problem.

It took half an hour more, but in the end, sewage was flowing, we'd had a nice warm shower and a few laughs. We crawled into bed and I said, "I'm so glad you thought of that towel."

Yes, it's a great thing to be married to a T.

Pop! Zzzzzt! Fire! Dast Oh Dear! Damn!

Yes, that's what happened. First came the POP, then the Zzzzz. I went to investigate figuring the dog had pulled a kid's toy over and broken it. No such luck though. I stepped into the laundry room and flames were shooting out of an outlet. Now, that gets one's attention immediately. I'm all ready paranoid about fire (having been in a couple of small ones), so this was frightning to me. I yelled for Angela who was outside, yanked out everything that was plugged into that wall, got the fire extinguisher, and yelled for Angela again, "Fire! Fire!"

The flames were gone as quickly as I'd seen them and called out the door, but Angela came rushing in, "Fire? What? When? Where?"

I pointed to the singed area around and below the socket. "We're going to sound like that Abbott and Costello Who's on First routine in a minute," I reply. "We had 2 inch flames pouring out of there a minute ago.".

"We need to check other sockets all over," she said. So, we went through the house, garage and shop to see if there was any other damage.

Of course, there was all sorts of electrical units that smelled like fried eletronics. My computer was first on the list. "Dast Oh Dear." Thanks goodness for back ups and thumb drives. A clock was a goner, so too the toaster, blender, DVD player, and other small appliances. Every now and then we still find something else that was damaged in the episode. "Damn."

Angela fixed most of them, including my computer. Bless her little Novel Engineer heart. The rest we just replaced over time. Wanna know what the cause was? A gopher. He ate through our land line from the transformer to the house! PG&E had to replace the whole thing, so we were without power for several days (thank goodness for our RV coach - no it wasn't plugged in at the time).

Yep, this is just another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual.

Making our own sunshine with a tow dolly

It has been foggy and overcast for days now, but I always see sunshine when Angela and I are working on a project together. Angela is always fixing, inventing, or making something, because she's the one who has the talent. She can repair anything, and if we need something we can't find in the retail world, she'll come up with a new object to fit the need. Here's a small example: we sold our truck when we bought the RV coach, so we no longer had any way to haul large objects. So, she invented a way to convert our tow dolly into a flatbed carry all. It took some time to design and build, and it is a large, heavy object to carry. But, with it attached, we can now go to the lumber store and bring home almost any sized load.

Yesterday was another dull, grey day outside, but she was out there fixing the lights on the tow dolly. My job was just to hold things in place, pass her tools, and tell her how wonderful her work was. I found that even though it was cold and generally unfriendly outside, we made our own sunshine with our laughter at getting into awkward positions, curses at problems, and perseverance when something didn't work at first.

Yes, this is just another example of the Best Things About Married to a Transsexual. I'm very glad she's mine.

I'm ready for a BIG step too!

Some of my readers have taken me to task about saying the repeal of DADT is a small step forward. I continue to feel any step forward is a plus. I realize that Ts were not included in the legislation, although that could easily be tested by a few brave souls. Transsexuals are NOT being included in most legislative initiatives along with gays and lesbians, except in hindsight. Unfortunately, we don't have the lobbyist the G and L forces have, and the G and L forces don't often think to add the T to their lobbying efforts. The reality is that we in the T community need to be as visible as the G and L portion. Too many of our group are stealth/closeted. Many of us don't donate to those groups that are fighting for us. Many in the family don't vote. I can't make things change with a single blog, but Angela and I are visible and we vote at every election. We appeared in a Discovery Channel documentary called Changing Sexes: Male to Female. We lecture about Ts, and our marriage, at universities, colleges, & social service organizations. We round up panels for discussion groups, and we are active in our local GLBT+ community. We don't hide, and we try to help where and when we can. All I can suggest to move the T community forward is for more of us to be visible, to vote, and to make our lives known.

Small Steps Toward Freedom from Fear

There were protests, and then people knew that those in the GLBT+ spectrum would no longer be ignored. Openly "out" parades began, and straight people enjoyed watching, and some even supported them. Supportive organizations began, like PFLAG (and others), and they saw their membership grow. Lobbyist appeared at legislative offices, and bills began to be introduced. Domestic Partnerships were allowed here and there, and states didn't crumble and churches didn't die. In fact, many churches found new members to increase their fold. Welcoming those in the GLBT+ family showed love and acceptance was a better way to follow one's choice of God. Marriages began to happen, and Love spread. Don't Ask / Don't Tell fell, and patriotic men and women will now serve openly.

Freedom for those in our GLBT+ family is coming. We'll soon be equal to the rest of you. That's a tremendous gift to the young people in our community. It shows them that if they can hang on until they are adults, they may be able to lead a normal life.

I'd like to be able to show "our" youth that they can be accepted even while they are still youngsters, pre-teen, teens, and young adults. I'd like to see the bullying, name calling, and hatred stop. Wouldn't you?