Tuesday, October 28, 2008


There's a lot of comfort in a hug or a hand on the shoulder. They have the most power in times of passion and sorrow. We loss those who are special to us in different ways. Sometimes a dear friend moves away and chooses not to stay in contact. In that case only memories linger, generally of times of laughter and shared experiences. The loss though is "casual," the pain of the loss is a memory with distance. The loss of a dear parent, a sibling, or child is front and center of our day to day life. Even the thought of such a loss brings compelling sadness; then when it happens it is devastating for days. Weeks and months pass before the hole fills with memories; Years pass as the loss softens into the touch of feelings. The loss of a pet, too, brings harsh emptiness for a long time. The hugs and touch of those closest to us wash us with love as we face those losses. Angela is particularly good at knowing just the right time to reach out with a hug, a pat on the shoulder, or a personal gaze with meanings of nothing but love and support. I treasure the knowledge that each loss is abrogated by her enduring love and caring. There has been no immediate loss, although both of my parents recently passed away, and now two of my pets are seriously ill. Even so, Angela always seems to know when I'm lost in a memory of those losses, or the impending ones. She appears from somewhere, and out of the blue, reaches for me to touch or draw me into a hug. It's a special bond we've only shared since her transition. I bless the day she began following the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care including hormones, real life test and her final transition.

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