Trans trumps all

If one ever wanted one of those obvious "the transition made a difference" moments, we had a couple over the last few days. Pre-transition, the Christmas tree always came down the weekend after New Years, if not before. It was like clockwork. All the extraneous stuff started being put away on those days leading up to the weekend, and then on Friday the icicles and garland were removed. Saturday, all the balls were put away. Sunday was a dawn to dusk lights-off-and tree-packed-away marathon. It didn't happen this year. In fact, this first weekend, we've been away on an RV trip, and the Christmas tree is only missing the icicles and the balls. The lights are still twinkling away. Furthermore, instead of immediately diving into the remove- the-lights-and-pack-away-the-tree mode, which would have been 100% the expected pre-transition activity, Angela is at the daughters painting the dining room! That'll be at least a two-day, and probably three-day project, and then we're off on another RV adventure for the weekend. So, the tree will probably not be packed away until we return. There hasn't been a word said about the still standing and partially decorated tree. Additionally, by now, all of the boxes would have found their way into their appointed spots in the attic. Instead, a pile ov boxes remains stacked in the garage, and I note What a Difference a Transition Makes. Aren't Transsexuals wonderful?

Beautiful daughter

The kids came over for dinner last night, and as the evening progressed, both Angela and I noticed how lovely our grown, married, mother of two daughter is as a woman. Sometimes it is difficult to not always think of her as "the kid." She just turned 39, and still looks to be about 19. There are no noticible wrinkles, and when we took her out for dinner for her birthday, the owner noted that she would have carded her had she not known her actual age. She is not only a great daughter, but she's also an excellent mother, and a good wife. We miss not having her around us all-the-time, but its always nice when they come over for their weekly dinner with us, &/or when we babysit the real kids (ages 2 and 6 months). I called her a few minutes ago just to tell her how beautiful we both thought she looked, and we both got a little teary-eyed.

Angela was a great father while Audra was growing up, and she's an equally great at being a grandmother. She plays with the kids like a woman, where she played like a father/male with Audra. She grew up in a less touchy-feely family than mine, and she has converted completely, especially with the grandchildren. She's more likely to be on the floor with one or both of them than I am even. She has infinite patience, and she takes great joy in everything they do. It's a so much fun to watch her interacting with the little ones. She's also built many of their toys - a rocking horse for Christmas last year, a desk/toy box for her birthday, and a whole swingset complex for Christmas this year. Who knows what she'll come up with next year. See, there's another advantage of having a T for a spouse - she can still do the mostly-male activities like building stuff (yes I hold the board or an end of the measurer, and I great at handing tools to Angela). She's also caring and gentle as a mother/grandmother can be. I am so lucky to have her!

Eyelashes

My apologies to any and all followers, I've been remiss in keeping this up of late. It won't happen again. This blog is about how great it is to be married to a Transsexual, and I can only say that nothing tops that being the case in my book. Angela has been my staunchest supporter through the bumps cancer has caused, and my inward focus this last month plus, has only proved, again, what a dear she is. She always knows what to say, and when to say it, especially when there is a need for something funny. Last night, we took our daughter to dinner, and while getting ready I got frustrated at putting on makeup because most of my bottom eyelashes are now gone. She simply said, "That's not why I married you, and it's not why everyone loves you, so stop worrying." It was a simple statement, but it took me out of myself and put the focus back where it belonged - on our daughter and her night out without kids." She's there with something cold when I have a hot flash, or with a crayon when I'm bitching about drawing on my thinning eyebrows. She's there with a hug when I need one, or even when I don't. She's not insulted when I suddenly stop snuggling and throw off all the covers, or change clothes three times, or whatever. Remember, now, Ts are "into" make-up and looking good. Even so, she always makes me feel like I look like a star. Hmmmm, maybe if I start wearing sunglasses, no one will notice the missing eyelashes.

Two Billiard Balls

Angela shaved my head this morning. I decided that since we own Bichons because they don't shed, it is pretty silly for me to be dropping hair all over the place (not to mention blocking the shower and sink drains!). It does look a bit strange, but other than that, I'm perfectly happy with my decision. As always, the every-talented Angela accomplished the task quickly. She shaves her own head also, but then, she's had a lot more practice. We'll be two billiard balls when we go to bed without our wigs. Yes, I have my new wig already, so I won't scare anyone to death when I go out in public. This is quite a change for us: Angela, as David, was bald; now it's my turn. She wears her wig all day, but I doubt I will. Time will tell. I don't have to look at my head, where everyone else does. Even the dogs didn't give me any funny looks, so I guess they accept this as just another of "mom's harebrained schemes." Angela has a great sense of humor, on top of her head shaving skills, so I guess that means I now have two Best Things About Being Married to a Transsexual to report today. I'm not even counting the fact that she is starting her next project - laying a new floor down the hall. The old carpet is out, and the new hardwood will be installed over the next few days. She's a marvel!

Taking up the slack

I’ve learned more than I care to say about cancer, but the most surprising thing is that it completely takes over your life. Every weekday has at least one appointment for something –doctors, labs, scans, physical therapy and etc. Each week is regulated by where you are in the chemo cycle. Week one, you can do pretty much as you please. Week two: stay away from anyone with a cold because white cells are diminishing by the minute. Week three: by midweek, one regains their freedom as white cells regenerate. Of course, then it is time to do chemo again, and the cycle repeats. This weekend is officially “stay indoors, don’t go anywhere” per my doctor. So, I’m missing a mall play-date with the grandkids, a day of babysitting, an opening of a friend’s art gallery, a play we planned to see, and a Christmas shopping trip scheduled for tomorrow. Dast, oh dear! Dang! So, guess who is taking up the slack – all by herself – Angela of course! We usually do “kid things” together. Sometimes we both are “on duty,” and sometimes one of us leaves to work on a project, go shopping or meet friends for lunch. We relieve each other for breaks, but one of us is always with the kids. Today, it will be an all day affair for her, although our daughter will be there for the play-date and from time to time throughout the day. Angela is an excellent babysitter; she plays with Brooke like a big sister, and she is a champion at changing diapers and walking babies (yes, she was excellent at both as a father too). So, here’s another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual: a few hormones add a touch of tenderness and patience that all of us enjoy!

Veteran's Day

Our flag flies at half-staff for those who died at an American Army Base recently, for all those who have died in our two current wars, and for those that have died in all of our wars. It flies at half-staff for those who have died peaceful deaths years after their valiant service to our country, of which my father was one. It flies at half-staff for those who came home from the horrific Vietnam War only to be vilified by fellow Americans. It flies at half-staff for our gay, lesbian, transgender, bi-sexual and intersexed brothers and sisters-in-arm who have died or who are now serving honorably under the deplorable don’t ask, don’t tell directive. It flies at half-staff those same GLBT+ people who have left the service because they spoke out against don’t ask, don’t tell, or who self-identified and were dismissed as if they had no value. It flies at half-staff for all those who have been injured in our wars, and it flies at half-staff for all the family members of those who have served and who currently serve in our armed forces. I am proud of them all, and I’m proud to stand among them. Angela and my father served as career officers in the USAF, both survived their war, and I am very proud of them.

Having Fun

It’s the small things that make marriages work sometimes. Sunday was the first day after my chemo that I actually got outside to “play” with Angela. She makes work fun, even when its hard work. She was chopping off limbs and I was picking them up. That’s not a typical scenario for fun I know, but working with Angela is almost always a happy occasion for us. We did a little fencing with branches. We piled the stack higher and higher like a balancing game before we knew we’d gone too far. I held the gate open and closed like a bullfighter’s cape as she charge through it. Next we attacked the garden, finding end-of-season produce like they were Easter eggs. In the case of the tomatoes, it really was a hunt. The fall/winter veggies are doing fine, so they were easy, but that last eggplant was also a bit of a challenge. See, you can have fun while getting work done, especially if you have a T in the family! So, yep, having fun while working together is another Best Thing About Being Married to a Transsexual.